Do you have a messy bun full of puke, a cute V-neck with a poop smear that looks like a slash across your chest, and a nine-month-old on your somehow cellulite-coated hip? Congrats! 🎉👏You’re so hot right now!!!
Are you slowly losing your mind and any ability to discern between day and night because a screaming dictator is emotionally abusing you? You’re literally a goddess and everyone wants to be you!💃
Is your car your bed because your baby will only sleep when you’re driving and you can only sleep while he’s sleeping and it smells like someone set fire to a pile of diapers and garlic in the back? Helloooo, that’s the smell of an influencer!👍
Do you think the croissant you threw away yesterday in a fit of trying to be healthy is now “fine” to eat straight out of the garbage? LOL! Hi-lar! It’s so fun how real you are! 🤣🤣🤣
Did you forget to pick up one kid and yell at your husband for it while letting the other kid enjoy their fourth hour of screen time? Grrrrrrl Pwrrrrr! 💪
Are you trying to juggle a full-time career, motherhood, and exercising by only sleeping 3.5 hours a night and as a result considered a heinous bitch by everyone you know? Soooo KEWT!🥰
When the FedEx guy comes to your door does he just apologize a bunch for interrupting what appears to be a torture session run by small people and a disobedient dog? OMG, your life is vvv adorbz!🙌
If you just took a sip out of a water cup that was actually filled with your toddler’s pee then knocked it over onto your toddler while freaking out that you just drank his pee, then you know what we’re going to say… must be why your skin looks so amaze!✨✨