MARY: Are you seriously bringing that?
WILLIAM: Of course I am, I spent forty hours making this thing.
MARY: Yeah, I know, and it didn’t fit in our house, what makes you think it’ll fit in our new house?
WILLIAM: We’ll just build a bigger house.
MARY: Oh my God.
WILLIAM: Hey! John Alden! Can you help me put this on the boat?
JOHN: What’s this?
WILLIAM: A table.
JOHN: It’s really long.
One Mayflower trip later.
MARY: William, we need to talk about the table. It’s too big, even for the new house, which you made the exact same size as our old house.
WILLIAM: OK, let’s put it outside.
MARY: Who ever heard of an outside table?
WILLIAM: This is a new land, we can do what we want!
MARY: What’s in that bag?
WILLIAM: Oh, um, a bunch of eels. Like, probably thirty eels.
MARY: What are we supposed to do with them?
WILLIAM: Eat them?
MARY: We can’t eat thirty eels!
WILLIAM: Well, let’s invite the neighbors. Oh my God — we can use the table! Let’s invite everyone!
MARY: Just serve them eels?
WILLIAM: We’ll tell them to bring something. A pot of food each. We’ll call it a “Pot Food Dinner.”
MARY: So we’re inviting our new neighbors to an outside dinner in November and telling them to bring their own food so they don’t have to eat just eels.
WILLIAM: Yeah, but no one’s gonna come if you put it like that. We should say it’s for something else, like “giving thanks.” I don’t know, I’ll think of something better, but basically that.
MARY: All this so you can justify lugging a huge wooden table across the Atlantic?
WILLIAM: Well, and the eels.
MARY: We’re never doing this again.
One First Thanksgiving later.
MARY: I’m sorry about your table.
WILLIAM: Thanks. But, I like to think people had fun.
MARY: We should have specified that we had enough eels and that people should bring something else. Because the extra eels—
WILLIAM: Led to the eel fight and the smashing of the table. But, honestly, I’m really enjoying the bonfire right now.
MARY: Same. And it’s nice to see the wild turkeys warming themselves by it. I hope they don’t get too close, I would hate to see any harm befall them.
WILLIAM: What do you think? Should we do it again next year?
MARY: Sure, why not. And if it ever gets more dangerous than an eel fight that leads to smashing a table that becomes a bonfire we can skip it.
WILLIAM: Sounds like a plan.