1. Become confused.
2. Ask if they’re serious.
3. Ask again. Maybe you’re not recognizing sarcasm now?
4. (Nope. It’s them.)
5. Tell them to stop crying.
6. [awkward silence]
7. You know that was a joke, right?
8. It was just a joke.
9. IT WAS JUST A JOKE!
10. [awkward silence]
11. One more time: you sure you’re not fucking with me?
12. [awkward silence]
13. Start laughing.
14. Apologize for laughing.
15. Patiently explain what sarcasm is.
16. Patiently explain what comedy is.
17. Impatiently explain what a sense of humor is.
18. Give up.
19. Feel gross.
20. [awkward silence]
21. Decide to have some fun with it.
22. See what else you can get them to believe by saying increasingly insane things with a straight face.
23. They’re totally buying it. Quick! Run for President!
24. Surge to big lead in the polls.
25. Feel gross.
26. Give up.
27. Look back and explain you were joking, over your shoulder, as you walk away and vow never to speak to that person again.