We’ll Always Be Right Here for You
It’s important that nothing goes wrong when you’re only here for a night or two. Even if your schedule allowed you to stay for a week, it would still be important that everything was right. So let’s start with one night, and maybe next time a week, because you can be rest assured knowing everything is right. We’re your hotel and We’ll Always Be Right Here for You, forever, no matter how many times you leave.
Just Stay Here Tonight
You’ve had great times with us in the past, so instead of going all the way home, you really should Just Stay Here Tonight. Maybe there were things that didn’t turn out perfectly the times before, but that’s not going to happen tonight because we’ve thought of everything this time around. Sometimes a stay doesn’t have to mean anything special—and sometimes it means everything in the world. At any rate, it’s just crazy for you to go all the way home. We both have to get up early for work anyway, right? Right.
Put It In Our Hand
Maybe you’ve had a long flight or one heck of a drive, or in some cases both. When we say you should Put It In Our Hand, that’s our way of saying you can leave everything to us. Our warm hand is always open and extended, and you’re going to rest well as soon as you let us use it, friend.
Don’t Show Me the Money!
Let’s not talk about money when you’re leaving, let’s get things squared away right at the beginning of your stay with us! Our promise to you, our guest, is to make the total charge for your visit clear to you upon your arrival—not your departure. That way we’re both clear on exactly what’s going on tonight and exactly how much it costs. Why? Because we’ve all been there… watching strangers or aunts and uncles locked in an argument about money that quickly escalates at the cash register of a discount canned food store, on a hot day, in a town with affordable drugs, lost dogs, and no jobs. Someone hits somebody else, and then suddenly the depression that comes with violence lays over you like a fog that the sun can never burn off. So let’s make sure we can enjoy the night, with no financial surprises.
Placeholder Headline for Rubes, Will Change
Body copy for placement only to fill out brochure layout. Watch your crushes marry this will change once layout is approved then burn years parked on the sidelines of life if that’s what it takes creative director is still reviewing copy so this is placeholder copy only fuck you Carol we could’ve been something besides coworkers and colleagues I’m probably quitting hope you’re happy with Steve placeholder copy to fill last column in layout he seems trite and predictable although to be fair he reeks of middling long-term financial security.