Happy New Year, baby. There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here, in Times Square at the stroke of midnight. And there’s no one I’d rather share it with than you and one million strangers.
You look so beautiful in those oversized plastic “2020” glasses. I barely notice the adult diaper you’ve been wearing for eleven hours so we could keep our spot outside the Hard Rock Cafe. All I notice is how lucky I am. I also notice the Midtown stench, of course, but I won’t mention it further because we agreed to stop talking about it.
From day one, you’ve made me feel so seen. You’re enormously generous with your energy and your focus. Like right now, a Elmo is beating the crap out of another Elmo over there, and now a Minion’s joining in — yet you’re still giving all of your attention to me. And that’s it, that’s what it is to love and be loved.
Do you hear that Ace Of Base song blaring over the speakers right now? That’s exactly how you make me feel. It is a beautiful life. I do just want to be here beside you and stay until the break of dawn.
Look into my eyes, because the next thing I’m going to say is very important, and also because the man behind me is pissing into a water bottle and that’s something no one should have to see. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to build a family with you. I want it all. And look, here’s Ryan Seacrest, shoving his microphone in front of my face. I guess he wants us to have it all, too.
I can’t get down on one knee, because that police officer said he’d arrest anyone who sits or kneels on the pavement. I can’t show you the engagement ring, because two hours after we arrived in Times Square, I realized the box was no longer in my pocket. I can’t even really hold your hand, because I think I have frostbite. But what I can do is love you with my whole heart, and protect you from the man behind me, who is somehow still pissing.
So what do you say? Will you make me the happiest man in this little barricaded pen on 43rd and Broadway?
Do you want this moment to last a lifetime?