The left is playing morality police once again, attacking the core principles Americans hold dear. They have assaulted the traditional family values that make this country great by insisting that fathers play an active role in their children’s lives. It’s time we get back to the nuclear family: one mother who does all the work and one father who barely shows up. That’s what this country was built on.
Folks, we are facing a pussification of fatherhood, where we men are expected, against our primal nature, to take paternity leave. Women already get maternity leave, which we all know is just a fancy phrase for a “free vacation.” Now we’re supposed to put on an apron, change diapers, and emasculate ourselves for some higher purpose called “fatherhood”? What will our sons think of us when we’re no longer strangers to them?
I sure miss those days before society got soft. Back when my dad would ask me, “How’d you get so stupid?” when I didn’t know my multiplication tables. How he never uttered the words “I love you.” How pathologically emotionally absent he was. I had hoped to pass down such self-loathing to my son.
There was a time when men left the house before their kids got up for school and didn’t come home until there was a hot dinner waiting for them. Where families would eat silently until their dad decided he’d had enough, and he’d head to the garage to drink beer alone every night until it all caught up to him and he’d die in his early fifties. That’s the America I miss.
Liberals are trying to tell us how to bond with our sons. What madness will they demand next? Fathers bonding with their daughters too? Isn’t it enough for dads to keep their daughters at a distance, giving them lifelong intimacy issues with men?
Fathers should bond with their sons the old-fashioned way: by psychologically breaking them during competitive play. Because who wouldn’t want to compete against and crush their child? I miss the days when dads would drop their sons off in bear-infested woods, leaving them with only a gun and telling them to come back a man or not at all.
You see, it starts with fathers taking paternity leave. Then what? Doing laundry? Vacuuming? Making ourselves emotionally available and encouraging our children for their efforts instead of berating them for inconsequential failures, which eventually lead to deep-seated insecurities and psychological trauma that costs thousands of dollars in therapy?
We must fight against the pussification of dads. After all, did fatherly affection make us the greatest nation on earth? No, everyone knows ambition is born from the desperate need to win the love of an emotionally stunted paternal figure. We need to stand up to these attacks on traditional American values before they’re taken from us forever. Please, don’t make us raise our kids!