To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: question about my DNA results???

Hi,

I just received my 23andMe DNA results and I’m not sure I understand the Ancestry Composition report. It says I am 50% Essosi-Valyrian? What exactly does that mean?

— Jon Snow

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

The Ancestry Composition report shows the percentages of your DNA that come from all the different populations of the known world. Your genetic ancestry is split in two with half your DNA coming from Essos (Valyria) and the other half coming from Westeros (Winterfell).

Please don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any other questions!

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Courtney,

So if my father is from Winterfell, then that means my mother is from Valyria??? WOW!!! My father never told me who my mother was before he died. I never thought I’d find out anything about her.

Thanks!

— Jon

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

I’m sorry, I should have been more specific in my last response. Based on your data, your father’s side is the Valyrian one.

Have a great day!

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Huh??? My father was Lord Eddard Stark of Winterfell.

-Jon

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

Actually, Lord Eddard Stark was your uncle.

According to your DNA Relatives report, you only share 25% of your DNA with him, which means, based on our simulations, he is your uncle.

A parent would share 50% of your DNA, such as Lyanna Stark does.

Thanks again for using 23andMe!

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

No. No no no. No no no no no that’s not possible.

My father is my uncle and my aunt is my mother??? Lyanna was kidnapped by Rhaegar Targaryen…

This has to be a mistake. You must have sent me someone else’s results. Can you check and get back to me ASAP?

— Jon

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

Our customers are often surprised by their results — my own Ancestry report was quite a shock (turns out I’m 10% Dothraki!), so I totally understand how you feel.

Your DNA Relatives report shows you have a living aunt from House Targaryen, so perhaps you could connect with her to learn more about your real parents?

Have you thought about purchasing our health reports? You can find out if you are carrying any genetic disorders!

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

I DON’T CARE about any of the gods-damn health reports!!!

Also, I’m pretty sure your data is wrong because there’s only one living Targaryen and she’s not my aunt — she’s my friend. Actually, she’s my… well, we haven’t talked about it yet. Anyway, you’ve probably heard of her since she has two dragons? Her name is Daenerys of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, The Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Protector of the Realm, Lady Regent of the Seven Kingdoms, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons.

-Jon

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

Yes, that’s her.

Best,

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

What?

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

Daenerys is your aunt. It’s so cool that you already know her! I’m sure she’d be willing to tell you all about her brother (your father).

They say she’s very beautiful. Is it true?

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: customercare@23andme.com
From: jonsnow@raven.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Yes, she’s very beautif— I MEAN, NO, uh… she’s just okay looking. I’ve never really even looked at her. In fact, I barely know her at all.

Any chance there’s another Daenerys that I could be related to? Maybe a Daenerys Baratheon or Tyrell? Maybe I’m related to a Daenerys Lannister? Please please PLEASE say yes.

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: customercare@23andme.com
Subject: re: question about my DNA results???

Hi Jon,

Isn’t there a reason why they call her Daenerys, the First of Her Name? Between you and me, you should be glad you aren’t related to the Lannisters — all that incest makes me sick to my stomach. You should see their DNA results. SO. GROSS.

But hey! Now your aunt Daenerys isn’t the only living Targaryen! Isn’t that exciting?

Would you be willing to take a brief survey telling us about your customer care experience?

I wish you the best of luck as you explore this whole new side of your family!

Courtney
23andMe Customer Care

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To: jonsnow@raven.com
From: samwelltarly@raven.com
Subject: VERY IMPORTANTPLEASE READ

Jon,

I just got back to Winterfell. Bran and I have discovered something very important…

You’re a Targaryen.

I’ll tell you more when you get home, but for now, whatever you do, STOP FLIRTING WITH DAENERYS — SHE’S YOUR AUNT.

Talk soon.

— Sam