“Oh, I’m so sorry!”

“Couldn’t you just have an affair instead?”

“But you seemed so happy.”

“Want to get drunk?”

“Did you guys try therapy?”

“Wow what the hell happened??”

“Well, you two were always an awkward match.”

“Which stage of grief are you in?”

“Well, you have been acting strange.”

“I know exactly one other person going through this, you should date them.”

“I think you’re making a mistake.”

“Maybe you should try a different therapist?”

“We already secretly did this but are too ashamed to tell anyone.”

“Whose fault is it?"

“You should get on Tinder.”

“Are you sure this is for the best?”

“Yeah, I don’t get it.”

“That’s really sad :( :( :(”

“Maybe you should pray about it.”

“How are you?” (whispers) “No how are you, really?”

“Are you having some sort of crisis?”

“This feels so sudden. Are you sure?”

“Well, just goes to show this could really happen to anyone.”