WHAT KIDS SAID WHEN WE ASKED THEM IF THEY WOULD EVER GET MARRIED:

“Do you have any cigarettes?” — Mike, age 5

“I’m always on tour.” — Kristin, age 8

“I would marry Barbara Kruger. I’m kidding. Can you imagine? Me and Barbara Kruger? My God, there wouldn’t be an optimist in that family no matter how many kids we had.” — Paul, age 9

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WHEN WE ASKED THEM WHY PEOPLE HAVE TO WORK:

“I have no idea. I haven’t had a so-called real job for years.” — Ben, age 6

“Fear. Period.” — Matthew, age 7

“I seriously want a cigarette if this is going to take more than five minutes.” — Mike, age 5

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WHEN WE ASKED THEM WHERE BABIES COME FROM:

“That’s it. Later.” — Mike, age 5

“You’re seriously asking me this? [pause] Are you? Yes or no, because you’ll regret it, I guarantee you.” — Amy, age 7

“Your family is Catholic. You haven’t figured it out?” — Steven, age 6