hors d’oeuvres
choice of:
Foie Gras Mousse
Chicken liver hand-molded into shape of flaccid penis
Carpaccio of Roasted Golden Beets
Arugula, figs, herbed penis croutons
Penissaladerie
Caramelized onion and fennel tart
served in penis-shaped ramekin
* * *
cocktail
choice of:
La Femme Fatale
Sparks energy drink and grenadine
Peñis Colada
Traditional frozen piña colada
served in 18-inch penis-shaped crystal flagon
with neck strap
Le Misérable
Men’s thong underwear soaked overnight in Pernod
* * *
entrée
choice of:
Parchment-Steamed Red Snapper
Stuffed with an embarrassingly large dildo and capers
Steak Frites
With Béarnaise drizzle slowly administered tableside
by young, handsome, patient male waiter
Half Roast Lobster with Drawn Butter & Strap-On
With Kodak disposable camera
Coq au Vin
* * *
dessert
choice of:
Crème-Filled Pastry Tubes
Wiener Cake