hors d’oeuvres
choice of:

Foie Gras Mousse
Chicken liver hand-molded into shape of flaccid penis

Carpaccio of Roasted Golden Beets
Arugula, figs, herbed penis croutons

Caramelized onion and fennel tart
served in penis-shaped ramekin

* * *

choice of:

La Femme Fatale
Sparks energy drink and grenadine

Peñis Colada
Traditional frozen piña colada
served in 18-inch penis-shaped crystal flagon
with neck strap

Le Misérable
Men’s thong underwear soaked overnight in Pernod

* * *

choice of:

Parchment-Steamed Red Snapper
Stuffed with an embarrassingly large dildo and capers

Steak Frites
With Béarnaise drizzle slowly administered tableside
by young, handsome, patient male waiter

Half Roast Lobster with Drawn Butter & Strap-On
With Kodak disposable camera

Coq au Vin

* * *

choice of:

Crème-Filled Pastry Tubes

Wiener Cake