An egg timer can time anything—it’s my calling it an egg timer that limits it. For instance, it can be a foreplay timer to let me know when foreplay is over.
January 16, 2008
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
Suggested Reads
-
August 9, 2000List: Butterfly Snaps
-
March 7, 2017List: A Usage Guide to Timely Phrases Beginning with “As” and Their Lowercase Abbreviations
-
April 11, 2007Christopher Hitchens Visits St. Margaret’s School For Young Women, Where He Discovers Little Girls Aren’t Funny, Either
-
March 16, 2006Jokes by Brian Beatty: Wildlife Preserves
Trending 🔥
-
October 20, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
-
November 5, 2018Can You Find the Hidden Images In These 15 “Magic Eye” Photos?
-
October 31, 2018Why It’s Too Difficult For Me to Vote, and How Many Beers I Can Butt Chug In Under 60 Seconds
-
November 5, 2018Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-546
Recently
-
November 13, 2018So, You’re About to Turn 40: A Memo From Your Media or Tech Company’s HR Department
-
November 13, 2018List: If People Talked to Other Professionals the Way They Talk to Teachers
-
November 13, 2018Thanks for Sharing Your Unsolicited and Negative Opinion On the Internet!
-
November 13, 2018Key Ring Chronicles: Pragmatic Swiss Army Knife