You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, and as soon as I can remember the title or which of my other friends shared it with me I am going to absolutely destroy your argument and by extension you.

It’s somewhere. I can’t seem to find it right now. If you just google it on your own you will find an article about the study that will outline with graphics, statistics, and peer-reviewed experiments that you are talking out of your ass. Even though when I google it with my intimate knowledge of the subject I am unable to find the article, it nevertheless exists and proves with science that you’re a complete moron.

I don’t remember all the details of the study, but the main takeaway is that what you and most people think is wrong, and what I and a few select experts think is right. You see, if you traffic in learned communities you would have heard the buzz about this new study because the author, whose name I should have paid closer attention to, is someone of note and is well respected in their field and totally real. So why wouldn’t I take their word over yours? Riddle me that, brainiac.

The mere fact that I read scientific articles in my free time should make you rethink ever entering a debate with an intellectual superior such as myself. For instance, just today I read an article on NPR or the Washington Post, or maybe it was a TED talk, about how LSD is helping primates or veterans lucid dream, or stop dreaming or have wet dreams. Whichever, it is a breakthrough and we all should or shouldn’t be taking LSD all the time. So that’s the kind of article I stimulate my brain with daily, while you watch Netflix or work at your job or whatever.

It’s not your fault. My life-long pursuit of higher learning has accumulated in following the most rigorously examined and well-respected Facebook groups and Instagram accounts on a variety of different cerebral topics. All of which have helped me become the type of renaissance man who can mentally pwn you so hard. Maybe the next time you want to share your thoughts on a topic you should do your homework and make sure I haven’t skimmed an article that I can’t find but will definitely send you once I do. That way you won’t come off as such a dipshit.