Look, I wanted to say something earlier, back on Tatooine. But between the bump on my head and you telling me about my father and then just GIVING me his lightsaber, I didn’t know how to broach it.

But now that Han and Chewie are up front flying the ship and the droids are in back powering up, I need to talk to you about that thing you said back there about “Sand People.”

Yeah, not cool. They have a name: They’re called Tusken Raiders. “Sand People” is just — I don’t even know what that is. It’s awful, is what it is. I mean, I believe it when you say you lived in a cave the last 20 years — because you act like it. Listen to me: That is a very, VERY offensive term. You cannot go around thinking that that word is okay to say out loud.

I mean, we’re about to visit royalty on Alderaan. We can’t have some situation where we’re at dinner and the queen asks us, “So, how was the trip?” And you pipe up, “Fine… except for the goddamn Sand People.”

And what was with that other thing you said, about how they “always ride single file to hide their numbers?” Because it sounded like you were saying, “Sand People sure do have a lotta kids.” I’m not even sure that’s true. Regardless, I didn’t realize it was a crime to be fruitful and multiply. Frankly, for a people who don’t have a lot and live in a desert, that would actually be quite impressive. They’d probably have a lot to teach us about sustainability.

And I get that they have a reputation for attacking people not like themselves. Hell, they attacked me. But I think it’s a bit small-minded to say, “All Sand Peo—” See? You’ve got me saying it. “All Tusken Raiders” do this thing or that thing. There are actually quite a lot of good ones.

“Good ones.” Great. Now you’ve got me sounding like my Uncle Owen (may he rest in peace).

But you understand what I’m saying? These words are offensive, and they’re going to get us into trouble.

Frankly — and this brings me to my larger point — I’m starting to have some doubts about this whole “Force” thing. I mean, you keep saying that it’s created by all living things, and it’s what binds us all together. But it apparently doesn’t have any problem with you saying “Sand People.” I find that odd. I find it odd that this benevolent Force that holds the universe together doesn’t have a problem with a little casual racism.

And you know what’s even odder than that? Is that you tell me there’s also a Dark Side of the Force. A Dark Side. There’s a Good side that lets you say "Sand People.”

“But then, Luke, the Force also has a Dark side.”

I thought that was the Dark Side. It’s not? I can’t even imagine what messed up things happen on the Dark Side, then. What is it, like, guys in Wookiee face and Jawa bowling?

Or maybe — hold on — maybe there is no difference between the Dark Side and the Good Side. Maybe I’m like you with the Tusken Raiders. Maybe all Jedi Knights look the same to me. I mean, I’m looking at you; I’m hearing about Vader; I’m thinking: “Darth Vader is a Jedi Knight; Ben Kenobi’s a Jedi Knight. Maybe I should assume, on that basis alone, that since Vader lied and betrayed my father, Ben Kenobi will lie to me, too?”

Well, Ben, should I?