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Articles by
John Flowers
John Flowers is a TV producer covering politics at MSNBC. He also writes humor for McSweeney’s and the New Yorker.
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 15, 2017The Secret White House Tapes
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February 14, 2017The CDC Has Issued a Quarantine Order for All the Lovey-Dovey Crap You See On Valentine’s Day
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December 15, 2015Finding the Right Neurosurgeon for You
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August 13, 2015Donald Trump, Through the Ages
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August 27, 2014The Following Content is Sponsored by Your Parents
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October 23, 2013Bar Trivia Night
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July 11, 2013Obi-Wan, Can You Stop Saying “Sand People”? It’s Kind of Racist
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May 8, 2013A Message to Shareholders About Our New $70 Million Purchase of “Elevator Pass.”
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October 22, 2012Election 20,012 B.C.: Where the Candidates Stand On the Issues
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July 13, 2012Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network is Being Dropped Because Your Provider is Being a Giant Douche
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June 6, 2012Prospectus for Silicon Valley’s Next Hot Tech IPO, Where Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
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July 7, 2020An Open Letter to Straight Couples Who Have Been Quarantining Together After Only Dating For a Few Weeks From a Lesbian Who’s Been There Before
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July 7, 2020
This Has Been Happening Forever, But Never So Close to Me -
July 7, 2020I Do Not Choose to Write My 902-Page Fantasy Ninja Thriller — I Am Compelled To
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July 7, 2020Knotted Ribbon