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Articles by
John Flowers
John Flowers is a TV producer covering politics at MSNBC. He also writes humor for McSweeney’s and the New Yorker.
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 15, 2017The Secret White House Tapes
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February 14, 2017The CDC Has Issued a Quarantine Order for All the Lovey-Dovey Crap You See On Valentine’s Day
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December 15, 2015Finding the Right Neurosurgeon for You
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August 13, 2015Donald Trump, Through the Ages
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August 27, 2014The Following Content is Sponsored by Your Parents
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October 23, 2013Bar Trivia Night
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July 11, 2013Obi-Wan, Can You Stop Saying “Sand People”? It’s Kind of Racist
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May 8, 2013A Message to Shareholders About Our New $70 Million Purchase of “Elevator Pass.”
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October 22, 2012Election 20,012 B.C.: Where the Candidates Stand On the Issues
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July 13, 2012Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network is Being Dropped Because Your Provider is Being a Giant Douche
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June 6, 2012Prospectus for Silicon Valley’s Next Hot Tech IPO, Where Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong
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April 2, 2021The Party of Family Values Would Like to Expand the Definition of “Family” and Also of “Values”
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March 26, 2021An Excerpt from My New Anxiety Dream Where I’m Blocking the Suez Canal
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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April 5, 2021Brood X or Gen X?
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush
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April 13, 2021Signs Your Genetic Predisposition to Addiction Has Manifested in Crafting, Specifically in Obsessive Visits to Michaels
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April 13, 2021William Carlos Williams Tries to Reach His Word Count
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April 12, 2021Classic Video Games for Adjunct Professors