Welcome to Black Rabbit Bar’s Trivia Night. I am your host. Every team should grab a scrap of paper and a pen. The rules are simple: The team with the most points at the end of the night wins a $100 bar tab. Second place gets some other lovely prizes. Ties will be decided via sudden death elimination. And that’s it. Are we ready? Okay, here goes.

Our first category is “cinema.” And our first question in that category is, “Who was that guy I saw with my girlfriend at the movies tonight?” Let me repeat that: “Who was that guy I saw with my girlfriend at the movies?” She was out with some guy tonight. He wasn’t me. They were at the movies together. And so our first question is, “Who was that guy?”

Everyone got their answer? Okay, let’s move on to question number two in ‘cinema:’ "When I asked her earlier in the day if she wanted to see a movie, and she said, ‘No,’ she was too busy…what? I asked her if she wanted to see a movie. She declined. Told me some fairy tale about something. I don’t remember what. So, pretty much put down anything here. But it was a lie, and she knows it. But what was that lie?

Question number three: Next thing you know it’s, like, 8 p.m. and what do I see but her, checked in via Foursquare to that movie theater we both sort of live near. And so the next question is, “How dumb was that?” She gives me some excuse. Says, "Not tonight.” And gives me some malarkey about… whatever it was. And so, I’m like, “Okay.” And, lo and behold, what do I see hours later but her, checked in to a movie theater that is, like, 20 minutes walking time from me. And she has to know that, right? And so our next question is, “How dumb was that?”

Question four: So, I’m not exactly sure what to do, other than to get a few in me. After which, I decide that dumb or passive-aggressive or whatever, she’s waving this one in my face, right? Okay, so, back up: She wasn’t dumb, this was deliberate. So, just put down anything for that last question, too. Anyway, she knows what she’s doing: I do social media for a living, so this is like waving a red flag at a bull, you know? This isn’t an accident. So, I walk over to the theater—remember, the category is “cinema”—and I don’t know what to expect, right? Because it’s, like, hours later. And I am loaded. But who do I run into, standing outside the theater talking with this guy about a film she told me just last week ‘looks terrible’? And that’s the question: Who did I run into outside the theater? Well, obviously, my girlfriend and this guy. Okay, so give yourselves another freebie.

Wait, no, NEW question number four: So, I run into her and the guy, and I say, “I got your little Foursquare message tonight.” And she says back, “Well, we never said we were exclusive.” To which I reply: “Oh, so which of your badges has he unlocked already?”

Question number five: Seriously, nothing? C’mon, people, that was funny, and totally off-the-cuff.

Question number six: So, something happens. I black out. Or something. I think he may have hit me because my face is hurting. But, whatever. The next thing I know I’m here at the Black Rabbit Bar, which is just a few doors from where I live. So, I must have been staggering home or something. Anyway, I come in here and grab the mic—because, initially, I thought this was an Open Mic Night—and so that’s when the bartender says that if I don’t leave, he’s gonna call… whom? I walk in, I grab the mic, I tell this story because I think it’s Open Mic Night. And the bartender says, if I don’t leave now, he’s calling… whom?

Okay, well, that’s it for the “cinema” category. So, exchange your papers, check each others answers and, uh, you know what? I trust you. Just, everyone, give yourself perfect scores.

Instead, let’s quickly go to our next category, which is “architecture.” And our first question: “Is there a back way out of here?”