“In Jaffa, gentrification stokes discord as Arabs pushed out.” — A.P. headline, 4/28/21

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Anti-Semitism: Any expression of solidarity with Palestinians (also see: BDS).

Eviction: When an Israeli landlord politely asks Palestinians to leave their homes because they haven’t paid their rent since 1948.

Gentrification: When Israel’s ultra-wealthy open a nightclub or five-star hotel on Palestinian land. Kind of like when white people move to the Lower East Side in NYC.

Hamas: A Middle Eastern food with historical roots in Israel and Whole Foods. Offered in a range of flavors, including chocolate and pumpkin spice.

Scuffle, skirmish, clash: Unsettling disagreements over land ownership. Tear gas, rubber bullets, and storming of mosques during the holy month of Ramadan are optional.

BDS: An anti-Semitic movement.

Sheikh Jarrah: A sheikh, or Muslim religious scholar, who goes by the name “Jarrah.”

Ethnic cleansing: No such thing.

Settler colonialism: No such thing.

Death toll: The number of Israelis who have died in scuffles, skirmishes, or clashes. May include Palestinians.

Settlers: Newly arrived tenants.

Conflict: A sociological phenomenon in which two parties of equal strength disagree with one another. In this phenomenon, the throwing of one rock equals missiles fired from fighter jets.

Palestinian protesters: Terrorists and/or extremists.

Nuance: Deceased.

Military occupation: A job or profession in the military industry.

Intense aerial exchanges: A proportionate exchange of rockets.

Residential block collapse: In which a Palestinian building mysteriously and miraculously falls to the ground.

IDF Twitter account: Latest reliable updates.

Palestine: No such thing.