“Now, this is wild, we had to call a separate Uber for Pharrell’s big hat.”

“Boy, I tell ya, this show’s moving by slower than Banjo Kazooie’s loading time.”

“My Tinder date spent all my bitcoins at Jamba Juice.”

“I hear that Pau Gasol’s been ‘binge-watching Crank Yankers,’ if you catch my drift.”

“Get this: Nick Cannon got catfished by a Bitmoji.”


“Barack Obama taking a selfie while doing Zumba. That is a funny word. Zuuuumba.”

“I laughed so hard at “Kangaroo Jack” that Coke Zero shot out of my nose.”

“Sounds more like Comedians in Cars Getting Cronuts.”

“My waifu asked me if I’m a foodie, I said, ‘Why?’ Now, now this is weird, she said because I—uh, I ‘ate the booty like groceries.’”