1. Your magical powers can light up a room.

2. Everyone laughs at you and calls you names.

3. A red biological emission is the source of deep shame and trauma.

4. Everyone is going to be sorry for how they’ve treated you.

5. Your parents have puritanical hangups about your body and insist that you cover the shameful parts.

6. Team sports are especially harrowing; you don’t get to join in any games.

7. You can make things fly.

8. You are selected to be the star of the show on the most important night of the year.

9. You’ve experienced mockery and derision your whole life.

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

They’ve excluded you.
All you know is pain and loneliness.

Had a very shiny nose

They said your nose looked like a prolapse.

How do reindeer even know what that means?

And if you ever saw it

Santa saw what was happening. He never did one goddamn thing to help you.

And now he expects you to bail him out on this foggy Christmas Eve?

You would even say it glows

“Oh boohoo. Help me, Rudolph! The children won’t get any presents.”

Too bad.

All of the other reindeer

No one ever gave you any presents.

Used to laugh and call him names

Why didn’t Santa have a plan for inclement weather?

Christmas is in late December—the time of year with the lowest visibility.

Used to laugh and call him names

Maybe Santa should consult a fucking almanac.

Used to laugh and call him names


No more laughter.

Used to laugh and call him names

Not anymore.

Not this Christmas.

- - -

1-8: Stephen King’s Carrie
1-8: Rankin/Bass Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
9: Stephen King’s Rudie