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November 16, 2006

Reasons Selected Relationships With Women Have Failed, in Autobiographical Order, From Fifth Grade to Present

by Scott Downes

Braces

Acne

An older guy whose dad gave him a Porsche

Beer

Naps

The 2000 presidential election

Al Qaeda

Selfishness, vodka

John Kerry

Unemployment

Time-space continuum

Failures

Suggested Reads

February 20, 2007

Lowlights From My Failed Hidden Camera Show

by Frank Ferri
May 12, 2011

List: Compliments Given to Me After a Comedy Show Where I Bombed For 45 Minutes Straight

by Doogie Horner
February 18, 2005

List: Muppets That Didn’t Make It

by Scott Shemo
July 21, 2011

List: Reasons My Puppet Show Pilot Wasn’t Picked Up for Television

by Doogie Horner

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January 30, 2019

Monologue: I Am a Stryker-X Assault Backpack, and This Airport Lounge Is an Insult

by Tom Ellison
September 19, 2017

If Bostonians Loved Other Local Institutions the Way They Love Their Local Sports Franchises

by Michael Hare
February 13, 2019

Don’t Get Married Before You Live Together

by Ginny Hogan
February 4, 2019

I Am a Pacific Northwest Man on Tinder and I Will Die If I Go Indoors

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February 18, 2019

Listen Up, Other Holidays, It’s Me, Presidents’ Day

by Kevin Nye
February 15, 2019

How to Finish Your Dissertation Before the Heat Death and Gradual Extinction of the Universe

by Ross Bullen
February 15, 2019

List: Six Reasons Why You Should Vote for Me, Old White Man Corpse, in 2020

by Emily Fidago
February 15, 2019

Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight

by Rick Stoeckel