The off-campus Starbucks where I sometimes hold office hours has recently insisted that the tables are for paying customers only and that the free grande cup of water I normally order doesn’t actually make me a paying customer.
The lawn outside of the engineering building on which I sometimes hold office hours has recently been the site of several unfortunate flash mobs hell-bent on my participation in the Macarena.
The bench outside of the student center on which I sometimes hold office hours has been repurposed as an official “safe space” for students struggling with pornography addiction.
My union rep has assured me that adjuncts are not required to hold office hours no matter what that prissy jerk Samantha says.
I’m in the midst of a lawsuit after several people on a campus tour tripped over me on the stairs where I sometimes sit and hold office hours.
Students have requested that I stop holding office hours on the quad outside of the library after several reports of heat rash and one complaint about a particularly aggressive pollen allergy.
I’m spying on Samantha today to see if she does, in fact, hold office hours.
The library staff has requested that I stop holding office hours in the library after claiming that I made four students cry. Though the matter is still under investigation, I am certain that three out of the four of these alleged students are not actually in any of my six classes.
I, too, find myself sometimes crying in the library while holding office hours. My roommate has noted that this could explain why office hour attendance has steadily declined over the last several weeks.
I don’t have an office.