1. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
Though this certainly sounds like something one of Amelia Earhart’s friends might have asked when she revealed her plan to fly a single-engine jet from Newfoundland to Paris by herself a mere twenty-nine years after the invention of the aircraft, there is no record of anyone ever doing so. However, this question was posed the other day by a concerned Applebee’s waiter who wanted to be absolutely certain that the ladies attending Steph’s thirtieth birthday party had fully considered the implications of their decision to add an order of apple pie a la mode to what had already been quite an “indulgent” meal.
2. “Be careful!”
Look, no one can blame you for thinking this warning was given before someone’s daughter or sister decided to engage in consuming non-essential calories in public! That should come with a warning. Unless, of course, the person in question is “Treating Them Self,” in which case a “get it, girl” should suffice.
Anyway, where were we? Oh, right. Sorry, we were so distracted by the idea of a woman treating themselves to baked, emulsified, or possibly caramelized sugar, we forgot to provide the answer: “Be careful” was actually whispered to Amelia Earhart by her husband George Putnam during a tearful embrace moments before she climbed aboard her Lockheed Vega 5B and became the first woman to fly solo nonstop across the Atlantic Ocean.
3. “I’m worried about you.”
This is a tricky one, but… you guessed it: Since saying it with their eyes does not count, Carol, your coworkers’ reaction to your decision to end yesterday’s management dinner with a piece of Tiramisu does not apply here. This quote belongs to Earhart’s friend and technical advisor Bernt Balchen, who revealed this concern before the record-setting recipient of the French Legion of Honor, using only her radio and two capable hands, steered a 4500 lb. hunk of plywood through the air at over 265 miles per hour.
4. “You’d better not crash, young lady.”
Did you think this one was for Amelia Earhart? Rats! While some condescending prick likely thought this about the thirty-four year old pilot preparing to single-handedly maneuver a two-ton airliner through a severe ice storm against a strong headwind, this comment was actually made just a few short hours ago to eleven-year-old Sarah, who’d better not make a fuss after all that ice cream, especially on a school night, goddamnit.
5. “Would you like to fly the Atlantic?”
Trick question! This query was indeed posed by Captain Hilton H. Railey during a phone call to the holder of the U.S. Distinguished Flying Cross, but it was also asked by Travis, the bitchy bartender at JFK’s Rooftop Lounge, in response to Lia and Amy’s request for a third round of Devil’s Food Chocolate Martinis.
(NOTE: The inflection of the inquiry likely differed in these two instances and was, in the latter instance, rhetorical in nature. Of course they wanted to fly the Atlantic, Travis. You knew this.)
6. “You’re a bold woman!”
Now you’re getting it! This line was playfully delivered, along with a gentle menu swat to the forearm, by a fun-loving maitre d’ after Kristal, a prosecutor taking a respite from investigating a major construction company’s zoning violations, opted for the custard tart. Bold indeed, Kristal!