Problem 1: The Bar

You’re out with Kelly and Sarah, and Mark and Jared show up. All of you want drinks. However, Kelly can’t be left alone with Jared because they slept together two weeks ago and he ghosted her, and Sarah can’t be left alone with Jared because he sent her a flirty text while she was at pilates on Thursday, and if he hooks up with her tonight Kelly will be soooo pissed. Kelly and Sarah can’t be left alone because of the tension introduced by Jared’s arrival, and don’t even think about leaving Jared, Sarah, and Kelly alone without both you and Mark there to intervene. Additionally, at least one person must stay with your stuff, but Sarah refuses to stay there alone because she thinks she saw a former hookup. Assuming each person can carry two drinks, how do you cross to the bar and back?

Problem 2: Lyft

You, Sophie, Kelsey, Sam, and Anna are trying to get Lyfts home after an off-campus party. Kelsey’s phone is dead. Sophie is pretty wasted, and her phone is password-protected. Sam thought she knew Sophie’s passcode but Kelsey said that she changed it after Anna used it to drunk-text Logan a “u up?” after the Phi Delts’ “Hot Dads and Undergrads” party. Sam can’t use her phone to call a Lyft because she doesn’t have Venmo and no one else has cash and paying her back is always such a thing because she gets super passive-aggressive about money. You and Kelsey are the most sober, and one of you must be with Sophie at all times. Assuming a Lyft can fit a maximum of three of you, who gets in which Lyft?

Problem 3: Takeout

It’s board game night at Adam’s, and everyone is starting to get hungry. You and Adam have been talking up your favorite sushi place, but Gina’s new girlfriend, Tessa, doesn’t “do” sushi. Adam’s roommate Matt is vegan and wants to order from that salad place, which Tessa likes, but they’re not on GrubHub, so someone will have to pick it up. Everyone who wants sushi has already put their orders in through Adam’s GrubHub account, and since it’s under his number, he has to be at the apartment when the delivery person calls. Gina won’t pick up the salads because it’s too cold, and Tessa cannot be more than six inches away from Gina due to the insecurity of their newly established relationship. Additionally, you’d all like to keep your game of Pilgrims of Noxema going throughout this process, and since you are the only person not playing with a teammate, you must stay. Assuming that you’re a perfectly pleasant, interesting person with moderate-to-above-average social skills, what are the odds that you could find friends who don’t get themselves into these situations?