President Donald Trump warned North Korea that it could face ‘‘fire and fury’’ after a new report Tuesday said U.S. intelligence believes Pyongyang has successfully produced a nuclear warhead that can fit inside its missiles. — The Boston Globe, 8/8/17

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Everyone has a learning curve, is all I’m trying to say. Remember when you first started driving a stick shift? How many times did you stall out before you got to cruising speed on the highway? This is pretty much just like that. No, I know it’s not the greatest example, but it’s the best I can do for a metaphor in these last moments of life as we know it.

Turn up the volume on that hand-crank radio for a moment, I think the Trump’s talking again. Yeah, a farewell address to the nation — makes sense, I suppose. Man, listen to him go. The administration’s rhetoric has really come together. Did he get a new speechwriter recently? Too bad he won’t have much more use for him after, oh, five minutes or so from now. Give or take. But I think the certainty of imminent radioactive annihilation has definitely had a sobering effect on the man. This seems like the moment he really acclimated to being Commander-in-Chief. He just sounds so much more presidential in these concluding seconds of sentient life, you know what I mean? I think the weight of being personally responsible for the loss of billions of innocent lives is definitely coming through right now. Gotta give credit where credit is due.

Wow, this really is a speech for the history books, isn’t it? Not that there’ll be any history books momentarily, but he’s proving all those pundits and naysayers wrong. None of that infantile whining or crassness we saw in the primaries… or what we saw even, like, yesterday. This is some beautiful oratory, packed with emotional weight and moving pleas for forgiveness. Honestly, it’s incredibly affecting. This is the man the voters were hoping for when they cast their ballots. They knew that, when the cards were down, when the chips were all in, he’d live up to the lofty office of this great nation. There we go — that’s the metaphor I was looking for. Maybe I could have had a future as a speechwriter, too. Oh well, too late for regrets now.

What? I mean that. We don’t have much time left, as he’s making so eloquently clear over the dying radio signal. No use dwelling on past miscalculations, poor judgments, or heedless chances taken for no discernible or sane reason. The simple fact is we’re here now, regardless of the absurd and dismal reason, and that’s that. Might as well let bygones be bygones and face the onslaught of fiery wrath clearheaded.

Can’t tell if he meant to stop mid-sentence, or if the radio waves are officially scrambled. Either way, that was one hell of a finale. Truly stuck the landing on that one. Well, say what you will about that man, but he certainly sounded presidential, something most never thought would happen. Egg on your face, right? Speak up, I think those are the rockets screeching overhead.

Like I said, it was just a bit of a learning curve for the guy. It may be humanity’s twilight hour, but it’s still an hour, as much as time is a societal construct that will cease all meaning in just a sec, and I think we can both agree that I was proven right about his pivot.

I certainly don’t regret voting for him.