Genevieve? Is that you? Oh my God! Who knew we shopped at the same Whole Foods? New York City can feel so tiny sometimes. Sure, there may be millions of people living here, but it doesn’t feel like it. You know why? We live in a small world!

I mean, think about it: can you believe we both have daughters who attend Nightingale, and are looking at the same northeastern Ivy League colleges? Plus Stanford and Northwestern? It’s like something keeps drawing us together–some common bond. Must be fate. Ha ha! That reminds me, remember last summer when we ran into each other at the Surf Lodge in Montauk? What a riot! It’s like, you mean to tell me that both of our daughters are enrolled in the same private school and we both have houses in the Hamptons? Eesh! There is no unifying element to justify these patterns. It’s just coincidence. Pure coincidence!

- - -

Genevieve? I must be dreaming. I can’t believe our worlds keep intersecting.

Just take now for example: Isn’t it hilarious we are both waiting to board NORTH AMERICAN RELOCATE 3? The same SHUTTLECRAFT that will jettison us from the same crumbling continent, because neither of us are immune to The Pandemic? Holy heck, we must be soul sisters, ha ha! What? Oh, I think that soldier wants us to lie prone to avoid debris. Someone’s feeling bossy!

I mean, once the oceans began hardening I was like, “I won’t see my friends or family ever again,” but here you are! Speaking of which, do you know my brother Jonathan? Oh you do? Right, he’s the mayor of New York. What a wacky coincidence two friends of the same man were granted transports on AIRCAPSULE. I can’t believe we both know him, are on the same ship, and are following the same CDC protocol. What? You can believe it? Whatever you say! For me, it’s just a small world. It’s a small world, after all. Ha ha, what a riot. Here, we can probably remove these VIRUVENTILATORS now. You look great by the way.

- - -

Gen! I can’t believe it. It’s me, Connie!

I mean, who thought we would be using the same CPU-WATERPOST? Hard to believe we were both assigned to receive rations in this Mothership quadrant. 9D, represent! Ha ha. This is too funny. It’s a small world. It’s a small, small world. It is small a small world, small world world a small–… sorry, I blacked out again! Classic consuming less than 500 calories in a full week. My organs are like: what the HEY is going on up there, Connie Jackson? Ha ha. That was me, imitating my body! I love to laugh.

Speaking of coincidences, I noticed you were also branded with a magenta I.D. REF NUMBER. What a coincidence that we both have one of the best quality classifications! I mean, it’s not azure, but it’s certainly not forest green either. Speaking of which, I heard through the grapevine that the GOVERNMENT RETINA classified Charlene lime green. Eesh! You know Charlene, right? Her daughter Aisha did Prep for Prep. Anyway, it’s such a weird coincidence that we have the same REF NUMBER status, but Charlene has a different one. Hilarious. I’m not quite sure why that is. What? You know exactly why? Well I don’t know what “neoeugenics,” means, so I guess it’s another unsolved mystery! Ha ha, I have so much fun with-–oh Jesus, I have to sit down.

- - -

Genevieve?! Hi!! Guess what? I think God has a plan for us. To be friends forever!

I mean who thought we would be here, together, bleeding out in the same escape pod. Come on, crawl and get your skinny tuckus down here! Watch out for what used to be Kathleen. Eesh, that siren is loud. That siren is like: “WEEEOO, WEEEOO, WEEO–-” What? Oh, OK I’ll stop. Ha ha! But just think about it: the two of us would be together, frantically trying to decipher the same control panel as the EASTERN-HEMISPHERIC MOTHERSHIP propels us into an incendiary fate that will surely echo shockwaves of terror to the NON-INFECTEDS back home. Vintage Connie and Genevieve. I can’t feel my lower half!

You know it’s another super weird coincidence? It seems like it’s only women and children in these PODS. It’s like-–… Connie, don’t scream like that, ha ha. Stop hitting me, OK girlfriend? Gee, the POD seems to be jammed. Sorry, hon. Who would have guessed we would be the only two survivors. Connie and Genevieve. Together. In the same POD. On the same MOTHERSHIP. In the same universe! And our daughters both went to Nightingale!