Send your list submissions to email@example.com.
Some of Dan Brown’s Works in Progress.
BY VINCE LICATA
The Tax Code: Jesus gets audited; is cleared of all charges on the third day.
The Source Code: Jesus tracks down software pirates among the Pharisees.
The Bar Code: Jesus uses the self-checkout lane; has difficulty scanning.
The Security Code: Jesus breaks into some houses; takes nothing, leaves love and understanding.
The Penal Code: Jesus in jail, again.
The Zip Code: Jesus mails a letter to the Pope; the Pope thinks it’s junk mail and throws it out; history changes forever.
The Genetic Code: The alleged illegitimate child of Jesus sues for patrimony.
The Enigma Code: The story of the Nazis’ “unbreakable” code. (Jesus not involved.)
The Health Code: Jesus gets mild food poisoning; is treated and released.
The Ethics Code: Jesus retracts the line “And blessed are the lawyers.”
The Area Code: Jesus changes his cell-phone company after too many dropped calls from His Dad.
The Municipal Code: Jesus is told to get the broken-down car out of his yard, or else pay a fine.
SUGGESTED READSList: Original Title Suggestions by J.D. Salinger’s Publisher That Could Have Been Deleterious to the Success of His Magnum Opus
by Eric Feezell (8/30/2006)
Actual Reviews Posted on amazon.com by Me, in Utter Slack-Jawed Ignorance of the Books Involved, and with Grammatical Errors Intact
by Tim Church (2/7/2000)
In Search of the Red Planet
by Paul Maliszewski (3/3/2000)
RECENTLYA Brutally Honest Social Media Job Interview
by Sarah Fader (10/21/2016)
Monologue: Why Won’t You Kids Go to Sleep and Let Me Read Badfinger’s Wikipedia Page in Peace?
by Ben Godar (10/21/2016)
List: 20 Ways to Talk to Me About Your Home-Brewing Hobby
by Darren Hoyt (10/21/2016)
POPULARWhen My Grandkids Ask Me What I Did to Fight American Fascism, I’ll Proudly Tell Them I Tweeted a Few Times
by Sam Spero (10/19/2016)
Moderately Motivated Gen-Xer for Hire
by Melissa Janisin (10/18/2016)
Thanks, Cindy, for Making Eye Contact Through the Bathroom Stall and Making It Super Awkward During the Department Productivity Meeting
by Anna Kemp (10/14/2016)