Assuming we decay at approximately the same rate.
Even if you become a religious freak, except if you adopt a program of abstinence.
Provided you delete Mannheim Steamroller from your iPod.
Unless you blow your 401(k) in Vegas without inviting me or at least requesting to be comped.
Except in cases of abuse, incest or scrapbooking.
Not including weekends apart that involve two or more of the following: a hotel room in Chicago, premium vodka, nostalgia, karaoke, that guy I made out with in the stairwell freshman year, and eggs benedict.
Even if you take Viagra, but not if you take it to the gym.
Void where prohibited.