An intraoffice memo.
An empty pot of coffee, an empty bag of grounds.
3. Crime pursued by vengeance
A copier used and left without paper.
4. Vengeance taken for kin upon kin
Manager leaves copier without paper, attractive coworker gets stuck refilling the copier, admirer of attractive coworker switches manager’s private stash with decaf.
Manager believes attractive coworker pulled decaf stunt.
Company Z now uses Keurig and employees must bring own K-Cups.
7. Falling prey to cruelty/misfortune
Employee enters room just as manager considers how the copier would look against other wall.
Employee #3 brings coffee maker from home and shares with other employees.
9. Daring enterprise
Company Z is going to purchase K-Cups for employees to enjoy
Manager deems employee #3’s personal coffee maker “unapproved” and removes it.
11. The enigma
Manager asks employee how morale can be improved while still doing everything his way.
Suspicion within the department that myriad Girl Scout cookies were purchased from a certain employee only a few months earlier.
13. Enmity of kin
Girl Scout cookie sales only solicited from office enemies.
14. Rivalry of kin
Employee #1 named employee of the month even though employee #2 clocked in on time every day in February.
15. Murderous adultery
Employees # 2 and #3 take credit for a more efficient way to dispense funnel cakes at corporate picnic although the idea was actually stolen from employee #1.
Manager denies employee’s request for day off to see Aerosmith at Walnut Creek.
17. Fatal imprudence
Employee #14’s absentmindedness results in all employees in department having to routinely venture to cafeteria for sustenance.
18. Involuntary crimes of love
Employee #2 informs employee #1 that the brownies he ate were for the manager’s daughter’s third grade class, which is currently touring Company Z.
19. Slaying of kin unrecognized
While straightening up the office, employee #1 accidentally throws out a very special eraser cap belonging to employee #2.
20. Self-sacrifice for an ideal
Employee #1 stays over at work for eight minutes to cover for employee #2 who allegedly misplaced his keys.
21. Self-sacrifice for kin
Employee #1 stays over at work for eight minutes because employee #2 misplaced his keys.
22. All sacrificed for passion
Employee #5 cleans out fridge leaving it immaculate but completely empty.
23. Necessity of sacrificing loved ones
Manager selects employee #1 to spend next three days at HR learning to instruct rest of department on how to use Gmail.
24. Rivalry of superior vs. inferior
Employee who sells the most two-liters today will win a $5 gift certificate for the deli.
Employees #2 and #3 start picking up part-time shifts at Walmart.
26. Crimes of love
An Employee of Company Z is enamored with an employee of neighboring Company X. Rather than confess his love, the employee of Company Z purchases snacks from his place of business and gives them to the employee of Company X during her break. Unfortunately, employee of Company Z has illegally used his employee discount to purchase goods for someone other than himself and employee of Company X is on a diet.
27. Discovery of the dishonor of a loved one
Employee of company Z and employee of Company X are now dating. Employee of Company Z learns that employee of Company X was giving the snacks he gave her to the dashing community-college-student-manager of Company X.
28. Obstacles to love
Employee of Company Z terminated for embezzling flowers which manager of Company Z spotted in the hair of employee of Company X during lunch break. Former employee of Company Z takes new job at Orange Julius in the mall all the way across town.
29. An enemy loved
New Orange Julius employee befriends dashing community-college-student and former manager of Company X at his new management job at Spencer’s. Now, employee of Company X is frustrated with both her former manager and her New Orange-Julius-employee-slash-boyfriend because instead of spending time with her they both just sit behind the mall in dashing community-college-student and new-manager-of-Spencer’s Camaro smoking blunts.
Employee #1 is a shoe-in for the Employee of the Year parking space if only Employee #2 does not trick the Manager with his incessant brown-nosing.
31. Conflict with a god
An employee is fired from Walmart for calling in sick.
32. Mistaken jealousy
Employee from City College X holds animosity toward manager for her diploma from Berkeley but fails to recognize that diploma is actually from Berkeley College in New Jersey.
33. Erroneous judgment
Employee #2 tells employee #1 that at Company Z honesty is the best policy. Employee #1 then tells manager that he is calling in sick in order to observe Aerosmith at Walnut Creek. Manager writes up employee #1 for lying.
Employee regrets selecting philosophy as college major; manager asks employee if he/she is serious about career in foodservice; employee silently curses every TV show he/she ever saw that advised one to follow their dreams.
35. Recovery of a lost one
An employee keys in UPDATE pref_posts SET guid = replace(guid, ‘http://www.olddomain.com’, ‘http://www.newdomain.com’) and recovers a lost database.
36. Loss of loved ones
Employees are being downsized or outsourced, seemingly at random.