[CURLY drops a pile of expensive musical instruments in a second-story hallway of a large mansion, above a flight of stairs. They fall loudly on the floor, making many unmusical noises.]
LARRY: Now the coppers are gonna find us!
CURLY: Aw, phooey!
MOE: You numbskull! You nitwit! Why, I oughtta—
CURLY: Wait, before you bonk me, I oughtta mention that I got several pre-existing health conditions so I don’t get no health insurance no more.
MOE: Health ‘surance? You’re not going to need no health ‘surance after I’m through with you.
[He swings at CURLY, who ducks and drops more medical instruments. A man in a suit calls out and runs to the trio, but LARRY trips him and he tumbles down the flight of stairs.]
CURLY: Yeah, health insurance, Moe. So’s I can pay for all those trips to the hospital after you bonk me.
MOE: But I thought a doctor’s gotta treat you if you go to the hospital.
CURLY: Yeah, but usually insurance would pay for it and I’d pay them back in regular installments, see? But I don’t got the dough to pay for those installments when the price goes up.
[Sirens sound in the distance, and a group of policeman appears.]
LARRY: The coppers! We gotta split!
MOE: Let’s run. Turn left at the end of the hallway, fellas!
LARRY: You said left, right?
CURLY: Okay, I’m going right!
MOE: Wrong, you numbskull!
[He makes to pick up a musical instrument and hit CURLY over the head with it.]
CURLY: That’s my pre-existing condition, by the way.
CURLY: I got a numb skull. Can’t feel nothing round the head. It’s a congenital disorder associated with many long-term health issues. I also got diabetes.
LARRY: Hey, fellas, the coppers are right over there and runnin’ our way.
MOE: I gotta idea with that numb skull of yours. Pick up his feet, Larry!
[MOE and LARRY pick up CURLY and run him at the police officers like a battering ram, bracing themselves for impact. But the group of policemen divides down the middle, and the trio runs straight through to the other end of the hallway, which is still under construction and open to the outside. They sprint right out of the building into the open air and fall down into a swimming pool with a massive splash. A minute later, they climb out, dripping.]
LARRY: That was risky! Good thing there was a pool, hey, fellas?
MOE: It worked out, but it was a high-risk pool.
CURLY: I was supposed to be entered into a high-risk pool ‘cause of my pre-existing conditions.
CURLY: The government said they was gonna help insurance cover me separately, and my conditions wouldn’t be used to increase prices for other people. But then them government chumps didn’t give enough dough to my insurance, so now I get less dough. And I still got a numb skull. Phooey.
LARRY: And diabetes. That’s probably what’s gonna kill you.
MOE: Not if I kill him first!
[MOE winds up to hit CURLY.]
CURLY: Hey Moe, maybe this time instead of bonking me real hard you could just give me like a light slap. That would be better for me.
MOE: But bonking is kinda my thing. It’s our brand.
CURLY: I know, Moe. I know. But, I mean, the costs are just piling up. We’re hurtin’.
LARRY: I’ve had a concussion for the past 17 years.
MOE: Oh, um, okay. I guess if both of you’s feel that way.
[A POLICEMAN appears at the opening of the second-floor hallway that is under construction.]
POLICEMAN: Hey, you three! Stay right there — you’re under arrest!
MOE: We gotta run, fellas. I can’t go back to jail.