Hi, Mike. I think you know why we’ve called you here to this conference room at the Holiday Inn Express. It’s because you have a problem, Mike. Also, they have a really great continental breakfast — scrambled eggs and everything.

No, don’t speak yet; you’ll get your turn after we’ve said our piece. You can either accept the help we’re offering or you can walk away. It’s up to you. But look around, Mike. There are a lot of people here that love you like crazy, and they’re sick and tired of watching you continue down this path of destruction.

You’re a Black man, Mike. I think you know that. And I think it’s time you realize that if you don’t stop being one, it’s going to get you killed.

That’s right. We’re not going to let you live this way anymore. It’s too dangerous. Standing in front of stores while Black, walking in your own neighborhood while Black… Hell, I’ve even seen you drive while Black, which, quite frankly, puts everyone else in the car in danger.

Fine, go ahead, leave if you want. But first, take a good long look in the mirror. It’s 8 AM and you’re already Black. Doesn’t that scare you? It sure scares us. Kathy is gripping her purse so tightly I’m afraid she’ll hurt herself. That’s on you, Mike — that’s on you.

Know this: If you don’t get the help you need, we aren’t going to be seen with you anymore. We’ve had enough. This hurts us just as much (if not more!) as it does you, Mike, but you’re putting us at too much of a risk. I mean, what if we’re hanging out, smoking weed or whatever — while you’re doing absolutely nothing illegal at all — and the police wind up arresting you instead? Or what if we’re walking down the street after pub quiz night and an officer drives up on the curb, wrestles you to the ground, and questions you because you vaguely match the description of a possible suspect for a crime that was committed miles away? You see how traumatizing that would be for us, don’t you, Mike? You see that, right?

Our lives matter, Mike.

Or say you’re pulled over on a routine traffic stop, and you reach for your wallet. Think about the police officer you might make shoot round after round of bullets at you. Do you really want to be responsible for his PTSD?

His life matters, Mike.

It’s clear you’re exhausted by this life you’re leading. I can see it in your face. Exhausted by the constant judgement. The constant fear. The constant persecution. So now — right now, Mike — is when you can make a choice.

A van is waiting outside to take you to the airport.

And we desperately hope you’ll accept this offer of help. Because maybe you don’t think you can kick this thing. Maybe you don’t think you’re worth it. But we think you are! Because all lives matter, Mike. All. Lives. Matter. We have a wonderful treatment center set up for you in South Carolina. It’s called Kristopher Kares Kompletely. They think you can be great again. We think you can be great again.

So what do you say, Mike? Will you get on the plane? Are you ready to have a life that matters?