Are you just going to leave that there?

I don’t know where your keys are.

I didn’t call them, I thought you called them.

Can you please not hide when we’re Skyping with my mother? She sees you under the blanket.

I guess you are just going to leave that there.

Did you unplug my phone?

We should move. Should we move? We shouldn’t move.

For god’s sake light a match.

No, the blue one is recycling, they changed it.

I guess my backstory is that when you leave that there, it feels like you aren’t respecting my need for a clutter-free coffee table.

Yes, your nice jeans are fine.

Do you want to have sex before I jump on this call?

I got eggs.