“Seriously, Eve, you were created from my third nipple,” Adam ribbed.
“Cain, will you spot me while I try to bench this giant rock?” Abel said bashfully.
“Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty pharaoh!” Moses said anachronistically.
“You know, I hate that Noah guy and big boats get my tummy churning. Weathersaurus is always wrong, anyway. Let’s just hang with the unicorns,” the T-Rex said dryly.
“Plagues of flies, gnats, and frogs, and now this! FML!” the Egyptian texted boilingly.
“I’m no Jeff Dunham, but still, I wish I had a little boy puppet to hang out with in here,” Jonah wailed.
“One of you moms has gotta speak up, because I can’t decide if I want to do it lengthwise or widthwise,” King Solomon said dividedly.
“Hey, since we’re leaving Sodom and all, why don’t you turn around so I can see that booty! Oh, sorry, sweetie…” Lot said assaultingly.
“Sorry for posing like this, but I’m asking for your honest opinion: fig leaf … or no fig leaf?” David asked nakedly.
“You guys will never believe the whacked-out dream I just had,” Lazarus said animatedly.
“Thish Teshtament would be sho much schweeter wif a liddle lightnin’ god ackshun,” said Thor, all hammered.
“Judas, please don’t kiss me. You know what this will lead to,” Jesus said crossly.
“Jesus of Nazareth? No, can’t say I ever heard of the guy, " Peter said cocksurely.
“Look at my hands! There is no way the day of my resurrection will ever be trivialized,” Jesus egged on.
“Rapture? Hardly knew ’er!” Tom joked absently.