“So gangster, I’m so thug; you’re the only one I’m dreamin’ of.”
— Train, “Hey, Soul Sister”

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PATRICK MONAHAN: Alright, guys, we’re almost done. We just have to finalize the bridge to “Hey, Soul Sister.” So far, we’ve got: “The way you can cut a rug; watchin’ you is the only drug I need.”

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Pat, can we take it back to the second verse when we talk about “my untrimmed chest?” I mean, that line is kind of a lot. I feel like people will be grossed out hearing about unruly body hair.

ESPEN LIND: Okay, fuck off, Amund. That’s a pivotal line.

PATRICK MONAHAN: Amund, fuck off.

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Yeah, okay. Whatever.

PATRICK MONAHAN: Back to the bridge: What about adding something like, “You’re the only one I’m dreamin’ of?”

ESPEN LIND: Yeah, that’s nice. Let’s add that in there.

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Wait, guys, hold on.

ESPEN LIND: What now, Amund? Jesus.

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Fuck off, Espen. We can’t just jump from “Watchin’ you is the only drug I need” to “You’re the only one I’m dreamin’ of.” Those lines don’t rhyme. We need something in the middle.

PATRICK MONAHAN: You know, Amund, you might be onto something.

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Thank you, Patrick. See, Espen?

ESPEN LIND: Fuck you, Amund. Go iron your Dockers, you walking shart.

PATRICK MONAHAN: Guys, come on. We’re a team. Now, we need a line that rhymes with “dreamin’ of.” What’s something that really captures the spirit of the song?

ESPEN LIND: “Dove” rhymes with “of.” Something about a dove?

PATRICK MONAHAN: “Love” rhymes with “of.” Something about love could work.

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Guys, I’ve got it!

ESPEN LIND: What, Amund? What is it this time? What do you have to contribute?

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Fuck you, Espen. I just think we should go with something a little more out of the box on this one. “Love” and “dove” are so played out. We’re not writing this song for another sappy soft rock band — we’re writing this song for TRAIN!

PATRICK MONAHAN: I see your point, Amund. What did you have in mind?

AMUND BJØRKLAND: What about something like, “so gangster, I’m so thug?”

ESPEN LIND: My God. Amund, I misjudged you. That’s beautiful. You’ve really evolved.

PATRICK MONAHAN: Guys, I love it. Train is widely renowned as one of the most gangster and thug soft rock groups around.

AMUND BJØRKLAND: Exactly. It makes so much sense.

PATRICK MONAHAN: Wait, guys — just playing Devil’s Advocate here, guys, but “thug” doesn’t really rhyme with “of.”

AMUND BJØRKLAND: It’s a soft rhyme.

ESPEN LIND: Fuck off, Patrick. It’s a soft rhyme.

PATRICK MONAHAN: No, you’re absolutely right. “So gangster, I’m so thug.”

AMUND BJØRKLAND: We’ve got it.

PATRICK MONAHAN: Now, we just need to start brainstorming the premise for our next hit.

ESPEN LIND: How about a song in which the object of the singer’s affection dies by falling into a cement mixer full of quicksand?

PATRICK MONAHAN: Oh, yeah. That’s good.