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“An enduring literary presence.”
—Chicago Tribune
Articles by
Lillian Stone
Lillian Stone is a midwest-based journalist, bitter satirist and Boston Terrier wrangler.
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August 17, 2020Additions to the Canon
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June 5, 2020An Evening of Carnal Delights as Envisioned By My 10-Year-Old Self
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January 2, 2020Thank You For Joining Our Gym and Thereby Helping Us Avoid a Devastating Legal Battle With The Producers of the Hit History Channel Show, Vikings
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September 30, 2019Real Guillotine Operators Sever Heads Every Day
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September 10, 2019Welcome to the New New Age
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August 6, 2019I’m a B12 Bitch Now
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July 17, 2019AP Style Guidelines for Viral Tweets
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April 5, 2019I Brew Award-Winning Yeasty Liquids That Taste Like Grass and Tires
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February 28, 2019I’m a Clog Bitch Now
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September 27, 2018Train’s Songwriting Team Finalize the Lyrics of “Hey, Soul Sister”
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July 24, 2018My Summer Body: The Reveal
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June 11, 2018Biblical Craigslist Ads
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September 2, 2021Oh My Fucking God, Get the Fucking Vaccine Already, You Fucking Fucks
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September 7, 2021A Short Quiz for My Students in Lieu of Asking About Their Vaccine Status or Requesting That They Wear Masks
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October 9, 2009It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 8, 2021Wake Up, Sailors, Scurvy Is a Hoax
Recently
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September 17, 2021Our Faculty Success Initiative Redefines Everything You Thought You Knew About “Faculty” and “Success”
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September 17, 2021Adam and Eve Decide Who Should Be in Charge of Childbirth
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September 16, 2021The Founders Would Like to Remind You They’ve Been Dead for Nearly Two Hundred Years
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September 16, 2021Updated COVID Guidelines: A Flow Chart Wrapped in a Riddle Shrouded in a Clusterfuck