The Michael Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is an assessment to help people determine how they perceive the world and make decisions about silently stabbing innocent teenagers while wearing a hideous rubber mask. The MMBTI is structured around four dichotomies that each describe a different element of one’s stabbing-related behavior and preferences.
It’s important to keep in mind that no Michael Myers-Briggs Type is the “correct” one—every style of silent, masked stabbing spree is equally valid. Instead, use your type as a jumping-off point to honestly reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, as well as just your personal preferences for how you enjoy to ruthlessly murder.
Introversion (I) vs. Extroversion (E)
This dichotomy centers around how you relate to the world around you and where you draw your energy from. If you are an introvert, you may be inclined to wear a hideous rubber mask because you are shy and want to cover your face. On the other hand, if you are an extrovert, you may be inclined to wear a hideous rubber mask because it is a great conversation starter that helps you stand out from the crowd.
To figure out where you fall on this spectrum after you’ve stabbed somebody, ask yourself: Do you feel energized because you have engaged in a social interaction with somebody? Or do you feel satisfied because you’re alone now that the person is dead?
Sensing (S) vs. Intuiting (N)
This dichotomy describes how you take in new information. Those who sense typically rely on concrete, tangible details, like the rusty smell of fresh blood and the brilliant gleam of a knife in the moonlight. In contrast, those who intuit focus more on abstract concepts, like the twisted sense of justice they pursue through their murders.
To assess which of these you might be, pay attention the next time you’re tracking down someone to stab. Are you focusing on the immediate sensory information you can see and hear through your hideous rubber mask? Or are you making inferences based on the general trends you’ve observed in your victim’s behavior?
Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)
This dichotomy refers to how you make decisions. Thinkers consider goals when making decisions and use logic to rationalize their actions. For example, a thinker may choose to be silent when stalking and stabbing people because they have decided it cultivates an aura of maximum menace, even if it makes others uncomfortable. Feelers, however, focus more on maintaining relationships and act from the heart rather than the head. A feeler could decide to be silent during a kill because they want to avoid conflict and are worried that speaking up could hurt their victim’s feelings.
To determine which one you are, think back to when you broke out of Smith’s Grove Sanitarium. Did you decide to escape the asylum because you understood it to be the best way to accomplish your goal of stabbing many people to death while wearing a hideous rubber mask, or did you do it because you instinctively preferred the sense of freedom you felt beyond its walls?
Judging (J) vs. Perception (P)
The final dichotomy reflects how you prefer to structure your life. If you are a judger, you enjoy routines, organization, and accomplishing goals methodically. You continue silently stabbing teenagers in your hideous mask because you enjoy the familiar, ritualistic nature of a repeated task. Conversely, perceivers tend to appreciate spontaneity and resist rules and structure. If you are a perceiver, you might choose to regularly stab teenagers silently while wearing a hideous rubber mask because it bucks conventional norms.
To locate yourself on this spectrum, consider how you’re planning your next attack. Have you thought through a concrete plan of exactly where and when you’ll do it? Or are you waiting for inspiration to strike, opting to… wait. Why are you looking at me like that? No. No. Don’t do this. I’m just trying to help you understand yourself. Please! I promise I won’t tel—