Welcome to our microhouse! I know what you’re thinking: “This house is too small.” Hang on, big guy. Too small compared to what? A suburban McMansion? At 200 square feet, this house would make a pretty large car or a very large horse. Our house has everything we need and so much less.
Please, remove your shoes as you step inside. The ceilings are only five and a half feet high and those thick soles will only make it harder for you. The low ceilings are a clever lifehack, saving us up to twelve dollars per year of heating and air conditioning.
To create the illusion of space, you’ll notice the ceiling gently vaults to a height of nearly seven feet in the middle of the room. If you’re tall or one of those gotta-have-good-posture folks, you might want to stay in the middle. The house tour does not require moving.
Kitchen countertop with ample space to cut a carrot or five baby carrots? Check. Microwave oven? Check. Regular oven? Hold it, Tex. Two ovens? We don’t subscribe to that kind of rampant consumerism.
I can hear you asking, “Where is the couch in this spacious den/dining room/home office/kitchen?" It folds in the wall, a nifty space-saving trick. If you want to sit in the couch, you need only fetch the key to unlock the wall, turn the hand crank a few times to lower the couch to the ground, reattach the legs using a screwdriver hidden behind a different wall, and retrieve the couch cushions from the storage shed.
“But what if I want a coffee table, too?” you ask in disbelief. “Can such a tiny house really accommodate a couch and a coffee table?” No. Spatially it cannot.
If you keep standing in that spot and tilt your neck slightly up you can see our luxurious bedroom loft. How do we sleep in a bed that is only three feet long? Good question, slick. But you forgot to consider how wide our bed is. It is also three feet wide. We sleep sitting up, because we like it and Thomas Jefferson used to do it. And he lived in a big mansion where he had plenty of room for any size bed he wanted.
Let’s head outside and I’ll show you my favorite thing about the house. It is on wheels. That’s right, we’re free to take our home to the open road, liberated from small-minded naysayers telling us things like:
- “Houses should stay in one place.”
- “You need to buy, rent, or lease land in order to live on it.”
- “This lot is for paying Denny’s customers only."
Some people just don’t get it.
That’s it for the tour. Are you a True Believer in the Microhouse revolution yet? Now, when anyone asks you if it is possible to have a stylish home for less than $20,000, you can tell them: Yes—if you don’t need indoor plumbing.