“The decade is about to end. What notable things did you do in the last 10 years?” — @GabbarSingh, 11/13/19

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In the last decade, I…

  • Became a governess at Thornfield Hall
  • Heard eerie laughter
  • Got engaged to Rochester
  • Found out he was married on my wedding day
  • Ran away and inherited $$$
  • Returned to the burned ruins of Thornfield
  • Got married to Rochester because his wife died


  • Didn’t catch any fish for 84 days straight
  • Was shunned by my village
  • Went fishing in the Gulf Stream to break my bad luck
  • Became a spiritual brother to a giant marlin
  • Hallucinated a lot
  • Killed a bunch of sharks who ate my fish
  • Sure, NOW I’m a hero, you mofos


  • Fell in love w/ a wild orphan
  • Married a boring loser instead
  • Needed a therapist but not invented yet
  • Saw my first love marry my SIL
  • Had baby girl
  • Died
  • Touched everyone w/ my cold ghostly fingers lol
  • Made Heathcliffe drop dead, whoops


  • Went away to boarding school
  • Made two new friends
  • Didn’t get good grades
  • Had to wear ruffled hand-me-down robe to dance
  • Saw a bunch of people die
  • Helped best friend save the world
  • Married WAY WAY up


  • Lost the beloved lady of the house in a boating accident
  • Saw my master remarry some basic bitch
  • Psychologically tormented her
  • Convinced the moron to wear Rebecca’s costume at a fancy-dress party
  • Almost got her to jump out the window lol
  • Burned down Manderley


  • Got trapped on an island
  • Learned you could blow a conch (not that way)
  • Freaked about some beast in the woods
  • Accidentally helped beat Simon to death — oops!
  • Saw a pudgy kid get smashed w/ a boulder
  • Was chased by homicidal maniacs
  • Said bye losers!


  • Found out my dad died
  • Got mad because my mom married my uncle
  • Saw my dad’s ghost
  • Pretended to be insane
  • Found out my BFFs were spies
  • Drove my girl mad; she drowned herself
  • Killed Polonius, argued w/ my dad’s ghost
  • Saw my mom drink poison
  • Killed my stepdad
  • Got stabbed
  • Died


  • Danced with a LOT of officers
  • Dropped my handkerchief
  • Giggled
  • Made a spectacle of myself at the Netherfield Ball
  • Embarrassed my sisters (so uptight lol)
  • Went to Brighton to visit my aunt (so there, Lizzie)
  • Eloped with a super-hot guy (my sister’s ex)
  • Made all my sisters SO jealous


  • Went to a faculty party
  • Invited a young professor and his wife back
  • Drank too much
  • Got “shot” by my husband with a fake gun
  • Fought in front of guests
  • Tried to screw the professor but he couldn’t get it up
  • Lost my fake son when my husband killed him off