The satisfaction of bolting together his own particleboard furniture from Ikea

Having his own reality show: American Evildoer, or So You Think You Can Oppose a War?

Petroleum-based processed-cheese food products

Fender Strats

McDonald’s Fruit & Walnut Salad with the revolutionary green plastic fork

Lite rock, less talk

Unlimited anytime minutes

The visible-thong phenomenon


Co-hosting telethons with Don Henley to save Walden Woods