BOOBS: Omigod, how much longer do we all have to wait??

ABS: You’re just impatient because you think it’ll be you again this year.

SHOULDERS: As if! They had their turn last year. It’s someone else’s turn now.

BUTT: Well, I wouldn’t mind if Boobs were in again. We work well together. People like us curves … you know, as long as we’re in the right places.

ABS: [silently rages]

NOSE: God, I miss the good old days when Barbra Streisand was the “It Girl”…

EYES: Ha! That never happened.

NOSE: Fuck off! We had a moment!!!

ELBOWS: We’ll be happy if any of you gets it this year. We know it’s never gonna be us, anyway.

LEGS: You are so underappreciated, my dears.

ELBOWS: That’s so sweet of you to say!

LEGS: Hey, us limbs have got to stick together, right?

HANDS and FEET: Yeah! And us extremities!

BOOBS: SHHH! Guysguysguys! It’s happening!!!

HANDS and FEET: Eeeeeeeee! This is so exciting!!!!!

NOSE: [whispering to self] Pleasepleaseplease, let it be me, let it be me…!!!


BUTT: …?!!

LEGS: …?!!!

EYES: …?!!!!

ABS: …?!!!!!

SHOULDERS: …?!!!!!

BOOBS: … WHAT?! It’s … Undereye Circles?!?!?

BUTT: What the fuck?!

ABS: This is some bullshit!!!

NOSE: [sobs]

UNDEREYE CIRCLES: Omigosh! It’s us?! We can’t believe this is happening!!! Oh god, we really can’t believe it! Look at us, we’re crying!!!

ELBOWS: You deserve it, darlings. Now you won’t have to cover up anymore.

BRAIN: Um, guys? Don’t you think this fixation might be a little unhealthy? Wouldn’t it be better if people cared more about women’s intelligence or personali—

REST OF BODY: Shut up! Nobody cares about you.

ELBOWS: Actually, we shouldn’t be so rude. After all, it’s never going to be her.