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April 7, 2021I’m Sorry I Haven’t Graded Your Essays Yet — I’ve Been Busy Living Under Late-Stage Capitalism During a Global Pandemic
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March 25, 2021All the Things That Got Me to Where I Am Today: The Phase 1c Vaccination Group
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February 11, 2021I’m Your Sudden Onset Adult Acne, and I’m Here to Destroy Your Face, Your Week, and Your Dignity
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December 8, 2020Fat Lady Attempts to Get Health Care: An Oral History
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May 20, 2020America Deserves a Skinnier President to Mishandle This Pandemic
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February 6, 2020How to Be a Good Fat Friend
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December 3, 2019Last Christmas, My Husband Gave Me the Machine from Kafka’s “In the Penal Colony,” and I Didn’t Realize How Much It Would Change Me
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June 21, 20194 High-Waisted Swimsuits That Say “My Belly Button Is a Prize Only My Husband Can Gaze Upon”
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April 1, 2019How to Have a Beach-Ready Body That Is Eight Feet Tall and Weighs 190 Pounds of Blind, Nightmarish Fury
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March 5, 201910 Guaranteed Ways to Get Your Pre-Baby Body Back
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April 13, 2021An FAQ About Your New Birth Control: The Music of Rush
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April 9, 2021The Five Stages of Grief When Dealing With No Longer Being Able to See the “Scoop, There It Is” Geico Commercial
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April 9, 2021An Open Letter to My Children Regarding the Commencement of Asynchronous Parenting
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January 25, 2016Alternatives to Resting Bitch Face
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April 19, 2021Pennywise Responds to Allegations of Improper Conduct
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April 19, 2021Alternative Teaching Modalities in Hell
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April 19, 2021America First Policy Institute Tries to Explain “Anglo-Saxon Tradition”
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April 16, 2021As a Republican, I Believe White Men Are Boys, Boys of Color Are Men, and Underage Girls Are Consenting Adults