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All posts tagged
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July 7, 2017I Lost Ten Pounds and All I Had to Do Was Eat Out of This Dumpster Like a Raccoon
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May 10, 2017The Fitness Sensation Sweeping the Nation: Wearing Your T-Shirt in the Pool™!
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April 4, 2017Well, Well, Well. If It Isn’t My Old Nemesis, the Three-Paneled Dressing Room Mirror
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December 3, 2016An Open Letter to God About Allowing Me to Wear Spanx Under My Angel Robe
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July 22, 2016These Smart Swimming Trunks Automatically Remind You to Be Self-Conscious!
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July 8, 2016Things We’ve All Said In a Dressing Room
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April 21, 2016I Got My Bangin’ Beach Bod from an Evil Sea Witch and So Can You!
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July 15, 2015Other Bods
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June 30, 201521 Days to a Dadbod
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June 24, 201517 Easy Ways to Get a Better Butt
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September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
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September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 19, 2024A Note from Your Child’s School About Its Apps and Websites
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September 19, 2024“Man Is Weak, and When He Makes Strength His Profession, He Is Weaker”: A Conversation with Wrestling Promoter Sean Görman About the Influence of the WWE on Trump’s Every Move
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September 19, 2024Every Type of Movie Sequel Title
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September 18, 2024A Letter You Can Give to Your Children in Twenty Years Explaining That You Don’t Have Photos or Videos of Them as Babies Because You Couldn’t Figure Out How to Handle Your Phone’s Storage