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Articles by
Chris Brotzman
Chris Brotzman is an advertising and humor writer based in Chicago. He lives with his roommate, Amazon Echo’s Alexa.
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May 25, 2018This Is Our Obligatory-Yet-Disingenuous Commercial Saluting the Military
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December 31, 2016An Obituary for 2016
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July 22, 2016These Smart Swimming Trunks Automatically Remind You to Be Self-Conscious!
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June 24, 2016Social Media Intern Wanted at The Night’s Watch
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October 30, 2015Are You a Basic Witch?
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June 23, 2015Do You or Do You Not Want to Work at This Glory Hole, Ethan?
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March 10, 2015I’m America’s Latest Politically Divisive Issue
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November 25, 2014The First Friendsgiving
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October 1, 2014This Week on As the World Tinders
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April 22, 2014I’m a 4-Billion-Year-Old Microbe On an Asteroid Heading Straight Toward Earth and I’m So Excited to Hang Out, You Guys
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March 26, 2014Hey Everyone, I’m Going to Have a Loud Phone Conversation On This Crowded Bus
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
