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“A key barometer of the literary climate.”
—The New York Times
Articles by
Chris Brotzman
Chris Brotzman is an advertising and humor writer based in Chicago. He lives with his roommate, Amazon Echo’s Alexa.
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May 25, 2018This Is Our Obligatory-Yet-Disingenuous Commercial Saluting the Military
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December 31, 2016An Obituary for 2016
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July 22, 2016These Smart Swimming Trunks Automatically Remind You to Be Self-Conscious!
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June 24, 2016Social Media Intern Wanted at The Night’s Watch
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October 30, 2015Are You a Basic Witch?
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June 23, 2015Do You or Do You Not Want to Work at This Glory Hole, Ethan?
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March 10, 2015I’m America’s Latest Politically Divisive Issue
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November 25, 2014The First Friendsgiving
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October 1, 2014This Week on As the World Tinders
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April 22, 2014I’m a 4-Billion-Year-Old Microbe On an Asteroid Heading Straight Toward Earth and I’m So Excited to Hang Out, You Guys
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March 26, 2014Hey Everyone, I’m Going to Have a Loud Phone Conversation On This Crowded Bus
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July 13, 2021Nobody Wants to Be a Serf Anymore
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July 14, 2021Dear HR: What Skin Color Emoji Am I Supposed to Use?
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July 12, 2021I Am an Alien Ambassador and I Only Wish to Speak to Your Richest Human
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
Recently
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July 23, 2021Summer in New York in an Increasingly Hot Climate Is Not a Good Enough Reason to Bare Your Shoulders in Public
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July 23, 2021Six Ways You Have Utterly Failed Your Child, According to a Pediatric Dentist
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July 23, 2021An Open Letter to the #OWNVOICES Movement
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July 22, 2021Apologies Women Need to Make (Sorry, It’s True!)