Do you own a cauldron?

Do you do spells in that cauldron?

Do those spells lure children for the purpose of capturing and eating them?

Do you “just love the fall?”

Do you own a pointy hat?

Do you wear that pointy hat while eating the captured children?

Do you coordinate that pointy hat with a quilted vest and/or riding boots?

Do you own a broom?

Do you fly on that broom?

Do you cackle while you fly on that broom?

Do you fly on that broom, cackling after having just eaten a bunch of children?

Do you grocery shop in athletic apparel?

Are the children you eat certifiably organic and non-GMO?

Do you eat children by themselves, or atop a raw kale salad?

Do you sometimes prefer cold-pressed children?

Do you like your children with a side of guac, despite the fact that it costs extra?

Do you own a mirror-mirror-on-the-wall?

Is it floor length?

Do you use it for taking selfies?

Are they #yaaassskweeeeen?

Are you in line at Trader Joes?

Is that a Pumpkin Spice Latte?