Do you own a cauldron?
Do you do spells in that cauldron?
Do those spells lure children for the purpose of capturing and eating them?
Do you “just love the fall?”
Do you own a pointy hat?
Do you wear that pointy hat while eating the captured children?
Do you coordinate that pointy hat with a quilted vest and/or riding boots?
Do you own a broom?
Do you fly on that broom?
Do you cackle while you fly on that broom?
Do you fly on that broom, cackling after having just eaten a bunch of children?
Do you grocery shop in athletic apparel?
Are the children you eat certifiably organic and non-GMO?
Do you eat children by themselves, or atop a raw kale salad?
Do you sometimes prefer cold-pressed children?
Do you like your children with a side of guac, despite the fact that it costs extra?
Do you own a mirror-mirror-on-the-wall?
Is it floor length?
Do you use it for taking selfies?
Are they #yaaassskweeeeen?
Are you in line at Trader Joes?
Is that a Pumpkin Spice Latte?