The Pissed-Off Bridesmaid

The 1980s Temp Worker

The Ross Dress for Less Clearance Rack Shopper

The Lactating Scuba Diver

The Cougar Who Doesn’t Give a Shit What You Think, She’s Wearing Elastic Waist Pants to the Club

The Androgynous CPA

The Plural Marriage Compound Wife

The Person Going Through an Unfortunate Cosmic Cowgirl Phase

The Norwegian Cleaning Woman

The Slutty Lumberjack

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p=. Halloween Costumes We Already Have in Our Closets