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Articles by
Francis Heaney
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October 26, 2000The Least Believable Things I Can Reach With a Cane While Sitting at My Computer
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October 17, 2000Steps in the Creation of a List
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October 3, 2000Some Little Fables To Help You in Your Life
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August 16, 2000Francis Heaney’s Lipogrammatic Consumer Guide
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July 19, 2000Imaginary Dialogues
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December 16, 1999A D’Agostino Supermarket Receipt Found Left Inside a Copy of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son by the Previous Person to Check it out of the Library, Presumably Used as a Bookmark, and Perhaps Shedding Some Light on the Type of Person Who Reads This
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November 5, 1999Short Fiction Starring or Mentioning David Gergen: A Short Story About David Gergen Using Only Words That Can be Spelled with the Letters in “David Gergen.”
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June 14, 2022My Favorite Controlled Substance Is Daycare
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
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January 14, 2022What Your Favorite Sad Dad Band Says About You
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June 9, 2022Yes, I Would Be Positively Delighted to Throw Away Your Trash
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June 27, 2022We’re the Supreme Court and, Honestly, We Just Want You All to Die
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June 27, 2022Today’s Meeting of the Congressional Bipartisan A Cappella Coalition
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June 27, 2022We Would Do Something, But Then We Wouldn’t Have the Power to Do Something, So We Can’t Do Something
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June 24, 2022The Virgin Mary Reclaims Her Birth Story