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Articles by
Francis Heaney
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October 26, 2000The Least Believable Things I Can Reach With a Cane While Sitting at My Computer
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October 17, 2000Steps in the Creation of a List
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October 3, 2000Some Little Fables To Help You in Your Life
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August 16, 2000Francis Heaney’s Lipogrammatic Consumer Guide
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July 19, 2000Imaginary Dialogues
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December 16, 1999A D’Agostino Supermarket Receipt Found Left Inside a Copy of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son by the Previous Person to Check it out of the Library, Presumably Used as a Bookmark, and Perhaps Shedding Some Light on the Type of Person Who Reads This
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November 5, 1999Short Fiction Starring or Mentioning David Gergen: A Short Story About David Gergen Using Only Words That Can be Spelled with the Letters in “David Gergen.”
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January 24, 2023Macroeconomic Changes Have Made It Impossible for Me to Want to Pay You
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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January 10, 2023Fifteen Long-Overdue Slang Terms for Female Masturbation
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October 30, 2009Letters From the Hellbox: Caslon, Baskerville, and Franklin: Revolutionary Types
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February 3, 2023Our New AP African-American Studies Course Will Cover Black History from January 1996 to December 1996
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February 3, 2023FAQ: Is My Child Eating Enough Pirate’s Booty?
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February 2, 2023Two People Who Don’t Have Cable TV Talk About How They Don’t Have Cable TV, and How Great That Makes Them
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February 2, 2023Elden Ring or Tenure-Track Professor?