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Articles by
Francis Heaney
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October 26, 2000The Least Believable Things I Can Reach With a Cane While Sitting at My Computer
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October 17, 2000Steps in the Creation of a List
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October 3, 2000Some Little Fables To Help You in Your Life
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August 16, 2000Francis Heaney’s Lipogrammatic Consumer Guide
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July 19, 2000Imaginary Dialogues
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December 16, 1999A D’Agostino Supermarket Receipt Found Left Inside a Copy of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son by the Previous Person to Check it out of the Library, Presumably Used as a Bookmark, and Perhaps Shedding Some Light on the Type of Person Who Reads This
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November 5, 1999Short Fiction Starring or Mentioning David Gergen: A Short Story About David Gergen Using Only Words That Can be Spelled with the Letters in “David Gergen.”
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July 13, 2021Nobody Wants to Be a Serf Anymore
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July 14, 2021Dear HR: What Skin Color Emoji Am I Supposed to Use?
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July 12, 2021I Am an Alien Ambassador and I Only Wish to Speak to Your Richest Human
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June 17, 2021What Your Favorite ’90s Rock Band Says About the Type of Bored Suburban Dad You Are Today
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July 23, 2021Summer in New York in an Increasingly Hot Climate Is Not a Good Enough Reason to Bare Your Shoulders in Public
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July 23, 2021Six Ways You Have Utterly Failed Your Child, According to a Pediatric Dentist
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July 23, 2021An Open Letter to the #OWNVOICES Movement
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July 22, 2021Apologies Women Need to Make (Sorry, It’s True!)