McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Francis Heaney
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October 26, 2000The Least Believable Things I Can Reach With a Cane While Sitting at My Computer
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October 17, 2000Steps in the Creation of a List
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October 3, 2000Some Little Fables To Help You in Your Life
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August 16, 2000Francis Heaney’s Lipogrammatic Consumer Guide
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July 19, 2000Imaginary Dialogues
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December 16, 1999A D’Agostino Supermarket Receipt Found Left Inside a Copy of Denis Johnson’s Jesus’ Son by the Previous Person to Check it out of the Library, Presumably Used as a Bookmark, and Perhaps Shedding Some Light on the Type of Person Who Reads This
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November 5, 1999Short Fiction Starring or Mentioning David Gergen: A Short Story About David Gergen Using Only Words That Can be Spelled with the Letters in “David Gergen.”
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November 6, 2024I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad