ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Kate Hahn
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April 18, 2019Full Moons for Pessimists
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February 18, 2015Welcome to the Federal Department of Outrage
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January 19, 2015The Most Boring Clue Results Ever
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November 28, 2014Black Friday Special: Common Retail Questions Answered With Deeper Questions
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October 6, 2014I Am Going to Start Ending Every Sentence With “Bitches,” Bitches
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September 12, 2014Botticelli’s Venus Wants You to Go Away
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July 14, 2014Your Uber Driver Reviews You
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July 3, 2014Summer Motivations Group Fitness Class Instructors Can Yell in Place of, “It’s Bikini Season!”
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February 14, 2014The Loch Ness Monster is My Soulmate
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October 30, 2013Pottery Barn Catalogue Descriptions Written by an Aspiring Crime Novelist
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October 11, 2013Come See Our Home Equity!
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September 30, 2013The Ultimate Small Plates Tasting Menu
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September 9, 2024A Math Exam, but Obviously Some Stuff Has Happened over the Summer in the Teacher’s Personal Life
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September 11, 2024Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with the Tackle and the Bait
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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September 22, 2023It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 18, 2024A Letter You Can Give to Your Children in Twenty Years Explaining That You Don’t Have Photos or Videos of Them as Babies Because You Couldn’t Figure Out How to Handle Your Phone’s Storage
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September 18, 2024FAQ’s About Our New Patient Portal, HellthChase
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September 17, 2024The Problem with American College Campuses Is That I Desperately Miss Being Young
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September 17, 2024Of Course We’re Going to Keep Feeding the Grizzly Bear