Black Friday Special: Common Retail Questions Answered With Deeper Questions (11/27/2015)

Welcome to the Federal Department of Outrage (2/18/2015)

List: The Most Boring Clue Results Ever (1/19/2015)

I Am Going to Start Ending Every Sentence With “Bitches,” Bitches (10/6/2014)

Monologue: Botticelli’s Venus Wants You to Go Away (9/12/2014)

Your Uber Driver Reviews You (7/14/2014)

List: Summer Motivations Group Fitness Class Instructors Can Yell in Place of, “It’s Bikini Season!” (7/3/2014)

The Loch Ness Monster is My Soulmate (2/14/2014)

Pottery Barn Catalogue Descriptions Written by an Aspiring Crime Novelist (10/30/2013)

Come See Our Home Equity! (10/11/2013)

List: The Ultimate Small Plates Tasting Menu (9/30/2013)

Monologue: A Farewell Speech From the Monopoly Iron (2/8/2013)

A Guide to Oahu’s Best Beaches By a Burned Out Freelance Travel Writer (1/7/2013)

Endings for the 1982 Film, An Officer and a Gentleman, If It Came Out in Today’s Factory-Free America (1/30/2012)

Monkey Business. (9/16/2011)

I’m Your Mixologist (6/27/2011)

How Much Do You Care About the Royal Wedding? (4/25/2011)

List: Gaius Julius CaesarStone™ Introduces the Roman Patriot Collection: New Countertop Colors for Spring 49 BC (3/17/2011)

Ice Safety (2/10/2011)

After You Hit a Home Run: A Guide for Major League Baseball Players (10/22/2010)

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner (Most of the Time, Anyway) (9/17/2010)

Thrill Ride Alternatives for the Anxious (7/1/2010)

The Long Island Smoke Monster Speaks Out About Lost (5/4/2010)

That’s Where the Money Is (3/22/2010)

Diary of a Late Winter Romance (3/3/2010)

Currier and Ives Prints Updated for the 21st Century (12/21/2009)

Godzilla’s Food, Exercise, And Dream Diary (11/17/2009)

The Emotional Hokey Pokey (11/5/2009)

List: George W. Bush’s Retirement To-Do List Regarding the Gophers on Crawford Ranch (10/8/2009)

Advice for America as it Faces the End of Empire (From the Entity Formerly Known as the British Empire) (9/22/2009)

Scrabble Letters Explain How They Are Coping in the Economic Downturn (5/1/2009)

Summer Safety Tips: How to Avoid a Lion Attack (7/3/2008)

The Magic 8 Ball Amended by My Mother for My Middle-School Years (5/9/2008)

Tripadvisor.Com Reviews: Jekyll & Hyde B&B (11/17/2006)

American Girl Dolls Write To President Bush (9/14/2006)

More Sections Of The New York Times That Help Terrorists (7/5/2006)

Secret Shoppers Report On The U.S. Senate (6/20/2006)

Utopian Endings For Reality Shows (5/23/2006)

Reinventing The Mojito (4/28/2006)

Six Breakfast Cereals Argue Why They Should Replace Cheerios As The Preferred Finger Food For Babies (2/21/2006)

List: The Mall’s Banana Republics for the New Millennium (6/24/2005)