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Articles by
Kate Hahn
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April 18, 2019Full Moons for Pessimists
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February 18, 2015Welcome to the Federal Department of Outrage
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January 19, 2015The Most Boring Clue Results Ever
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November 28, 2014Black Friday Special: Common Retail Questions Answered With Deeper Questions
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October 6, 2014I Am Going to Start Ending Every Sentence With “Bitches,” Bitches
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September 12, 2014Botticelli’s Venus Wants You to Go Away
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July 14, 2014Your Uber Driver Reviews You
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July 3, 2014Summer Motivations Group Fitness Class Instructors Can Yell in Place of, “It’s Bikini Season!”
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February 14, 2014The Loch Ness Monster is My Soulmate
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October 30, 2013Pottery Barn Catalogue Descriptions Written by an Aspiring Crime Novelist
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October 11, 2013Come See Our Home Equity!
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September 30, 2013The Ultimate Small Plates Tasting Menu
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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February 26, 2021The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” for Nihilists
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman from Georgia
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February 26, 2021You’re Having a Bad Trip, Charlie Brown!
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit