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Articles by
Madeleine Trebenski
Madeleine is a Canadian person whose parents moved her to rural North Carolina at the age of 11. She only writes because it allows her to communicate without anyone having to hear her absurd combination of accents.
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December 29, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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November 9, 2020The Nightmare Is Finally Over, and We Can Say with Absolute Certainty That There Will Never Be Another Death Star Ever Again
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September 17, 2020It’s Just a Beach Read
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May 6, 2020How to Quarantine Like a French Girl
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February 14, 2020The Real Saints of Valentine’s Day
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November 8, 2019The Ten Commandments of Workism
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December 20, 2018Guidelines For Female Protagonists In Hallmark Christmas Movies
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May 2, 2018I’m Your Outdoor Dream Girl and Not an Evil Wood Nymph Who Wants to Steal Your Soul
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April 11, 2017Anything Men Can Do I Can Do Bleeding
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July 28, 20167 Romantic Places for You and Your Dream Guy Who Lives With His Girlfriend
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June 6, 2016My Life Has No Meaning, But Have You Tried the New Toaster?
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April 21, 2016I Got My Bangin’ Beach Bod From an Evil Sea Witch and So Can You!
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February 19, 2021I’m a Short Afternoon Walk and You’re Putting Way Too Much Pressure on Me
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February 22, 2021The UX on this Small Child Is Terrible
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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February 16, 2021As a Superhero Teacher, I Can’t Wait to Sacrifice My Unvaccinated Life for Your Child
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February 26, 2021The Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” for Nihilists
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February 26, 2021As a Staunch Defender of American Liberty, I Refuse to Let Trans People Infringe on My Rights as a White, Straight, Cisgender Congresswoman from Georgia
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February 26, 2021You’re Having a Bad Trip, Charlie Brown!
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February 25, 2021714 Epidemiologists on When We Can Resume Fixating on Petty Bullshit