The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Patrick Coyne
Patrick Coyne is a comedy writer from Philadelphia. His work has been featured in The New Yorker, Reductress, and The Hard Times, among others.
-
May 2, 2023One of Us Always Tells the Truth, the Other Always Lies. Also, Contrary to What You May Have Heard My Penis Is Not Small
-
April 13, 2023TikTok’s Old Age Filter Shows My Wife and Some Other Guy Standing on My Grave
-
February 13, 2023Candy Heart Messages After Elon Musk Buys Sweethearts for $44 Billion
-
June 29, 2022First Drafts of Classic Movie Quotes
-
March 22, 2022First Drafts of the Greatest Opening Sentences in Literature
-
January 19, 2022Increasingly Convoluted Rules for Ordering a Philly Cheesesteak Like a Local
-
July 12, 2017CÜCK – The New Furniture Assembly Service From IKEA
-
March 20, 2017Not to Brag, But I’m Totally Intellectual Enough to Be Brutally Murdered by Fascists
Trending 🔥
Recently
-
April 30, 2025Our University Is Replacing DEI with Vibes and Vaguely Diverse Stock Photos
-
April 30, 2025This Bank Robbery Is a Safe Space
-
April 29, 2025Don’t Worry, We Were Prepared for Our Policies to Be Extremely Unpopular, Because They Are Very, Very Bad
-
April 29, 2025We’re the Pro-Family Party; We’re Also Deporting Families