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Articles by
Rebecca Saltzman
Rebecca Saltzman is a writer and Hebrew school dropout from Rochester, NY. She currently lives in New York City. Visit her website here.
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January 16, 2020The Muppets Take Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
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July 22, 2019I’m Glad the Government Is Protecting Our Most Vulnerable People: Chick-fil-A
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June 14, 2019Hamlet Hosts a Father’s Day Brunch
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April 9, 2019I Still Believe Every Child Is Precious. Also It Will Take Us Years to Find the Kids We Stole At the Border
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March 27, 2019This Is Embarrassing, But It Turns Out Our Fake Jewish Bagel Chain Was Funded By Nazis
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January 24, 2019FAQ: This MFA Workshop Has Been Replaced With a Glove Full of Bullet Ants
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September 4, 2018The Zombified Corpse of Vlad the Impaler Will No Longer Be Appearing at Our Literary Festival
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June 19, 2018I Believe Every Child is Precious, Except for the Ones We’re Locking Up in Cages
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February 22, 2018As Senator, I Have No Choice But to Accept Donations From This Churning Vortex of Death That Ate Your Children
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November 17, 2017Listen Up, Bitches: It’s Lysistrata Time!
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October 2, 2017A Mother’s Curse for Congress After It Let CHIP Funding for Nine Million Children Expire
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May 5, 2017I’m Totally Cool With the Collapse of the Health Care System Because I Have a Jade Egg in My Vagina
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April 30, 2020The Girl From Avril Lavigne’s “Sk8er Boi” Responds 18 Years Later
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June 26, 2020A Message from Your University’s Vice President for Magical Thinking
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June 24, 2020Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing (So Far): Atrocities 1-759
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June 22, 2020I’m the Guy Setting Off Fireworks Every Night In Your Neighborhood and I Have You Right Where I Want You
Recently
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July 3, 2020
Of Plague and Plenty -
July 3, 2020It’s Time to Sign the Declaration of Independence, and I, Elbridge Gerry, Will Have the Biggest Signature of All
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July 2, 2020The Best Thing About Each Amendment in the Bill of Rights, in Haiku
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July 2, 2020Kink-Shaming and a Cover-Up: Benjamin Franklin and the Story of the US Standard Measurement System