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Articles by
Rebecca Saltzman
Rebecca Saltzman is a writer and Hebrew school dropout from Rochester, NY. She currently lives in New York City. Visit her website here.
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December 23, 2020Thank You for Choosing Manger Health Systems for the Birth of Your Savior
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November 3, 2020How to Cope With Your PTSD Flashbacks From Election Day 2016 On Election Day 2020
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July 3, 2020We Apologize That Instead of July Fourth Bunting, We Accidentally Shipped You a Box Full of Snakes
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January 16, 2020The Muppets Take Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
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July 22, 2019I’m Glad the Government Is Protecting Our Most Vulnerable People: Chick-fil-A
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June 14, 2019Hamlet Hosts a Father’s Day Brunch
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April 9, 2019I Still Believe Every Child Is Precious. Also It Will Take Us Years to Find the Kids We Stole At the Border
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March 27, 2019This Is Embarrassing, But It Turns Out Our Fake Jewish Bagel Chain Was Funded By Nazis
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January 24, 2019FAQ: This MFA Workshop Has Been Replaced With a Glove Full of Bullet Ants
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September 4, 2018The Zombified Corpse of Vlad the Impaler Will No Longer Be Appearing at Our Literary Festival
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June 19, 2018I Believe Every Child is Precious, Except for the Ones We’re Locking Up in Cages
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February 22, 2018As Senator, I Have No Choice But to Accept Donations From This Churning Vortex of Death That Ate Your Children
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January 14, 2021I Am the Designer of This Restaurant’s Outdoor Seating Space, and This Is My Artist’s Statement
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January 13, 2021Excerpts from the Sex and the City Revival in Which Samantha Is Replaced with Fran Lebowitz
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January 20, 2021
Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1-1,056 -
January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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January 22, 2021Llama Llama Remote-Learning Drama
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January 22, 2021Eight Famous Poems Rewritten by Your Asshole Cat
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January 22, 2021Now That I Am Old Enough to Enroll in Medicare, I Am Against Socialized Medicine
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January 21, 2021I Am a Disappointed Biden Voter Who Was Told He’d Immediately Implement Communist Rule