McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Rebecca Saltzman
Rebecca Saltzman is a writer and Hebrew school dropout from Rochester, NY. She currently lives in New York City. Visit her website here.
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September 4, 2018The Zombified Corpse of Vlad the Impaler Will No Longer Be Appearing at Our Literary Festival
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June 19, 2018I Believe Every Child is Precious, Except for the Ones We’re Locking Up in Cages
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February 22, 2018As Senator, I Have No Choice But to Accept Donations From This Churning Vortex of Death That Ate Your Children
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November 17, 2017Listen Up, Bitches: It’s Lysistrata Time!
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October 2, 2017A Mother’s Curse for Congress After It Let CHIP Funding for Nine Million Children Expire
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May 5, 2017I’m Totally Cool With the Collapse of the Health Care System Because I Have a Jade Egg in My Vagina
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December 4, 2015Official Bylaws of Girl Scouts MC Troop 55, Daughters of Hell Council
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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September 30, 2024Faculty, Rejoice: Gmail Can Now Translate “Deanspeak”
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 2, 2024JD Vance, a Very Normal Human Man, Sells Used Cars
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October 15, 2024270 Reasons: Because They Seem to Really Like Our Country
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October 15, 2024I, Elon Musk, Will Pay Forty-Seven Dollars to Anyone Who Can Figure Out What’s Wrong with Me
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October 11, 2024I Wish I Went Before Mary Shelley in This Storytelling Contest
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October 11, 2024270 Reasons: Because Kamala Harris Can Say the Word “Abortion”