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Articles by
Rebecca Saltzman
Rebecca Saltzman is a writer and Hebrew school dropout from Rochester, NY. She currently lives in New York City. Visit her website here.
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May 19, 2021Caring For Your Geriatric Millennial
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March 3, 2021I’m All for Letting the Free Market Decide Things Unless It Decides to Stop Publishing Racist Children’s Books
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February 24, 2021I Oppose the Democrats’ Plan to Lower Child Poverty. If Kids Want to Eat, They Should Work In Filthy Factories Like They Did in the Good Old Days
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December 23, 2020Thank You for Choosing Manger Health Systems for the Birth of Your Savior
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November 3, 2020How to Cope With Your PTSD Flashbacks From Election Day 2016 On Election Day 2020
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July 3, 2020We Apologize That Instead of July Fourth Bunting, We Accidentally Shipped You a Box Full of Snakes
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January 16, 2020The Muppets Take Fear and Loathing In Las Vegas
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July 22, 2019I’m Glad the Government Is Protecting Our Most Vulnerable People: Chick-fil-A
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June 14, 2019Hamlet Hosts a Father’s Day Brunch
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April 9, 2019I Still Believe Every Child Is Precious. Also It Will Take Us Years to Find the Kids We Stole At the Border
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March 27, 2019This Is Embarrassing, But It Turns Out Our Fake Jewish Bagel Chain Was Funded By Nazis
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January 24, 2019FAQ: This MFA Workshop Has Been Replaced With a Glove Full of Bullet Ants
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 15, 2024Is It Perimenopause or the Fascist Death Knell of Late-Stage Capitalism?
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner
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October 31, 2024How to Burn Off Halloween Candy Calories: 2024 Election Edition
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October 31, 2024270 Reasons: Because If You Don’t Want to Live in The Handmaid’s Tale, You Really Need to Vote Harris-Walz
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October 31, 2024I’m Voting for Trump Because of the Things He Says He’ll Do, Which I Don’t Actually Believe He’ll Do