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Articles by
Rebecca Saltzman
Rebecca Saltzman is a writer and Hebrew school dropout from Rochester, NY. She currently lives in New York City. Visit her website here.
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September 4, 2018The Zombified Corpse of Vlad the Impaler Will No Longer Be Appearing at Our Literary Festival
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June 19, 2018I Believe Every Child is Precious, Except for the Ones We’re Locking Up in Cages
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February 22, 2018As Senator, I Have No Choice But to Accept Donations From This Churning Vortex of Death That Ate Your Children
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November 17, 2017Listen Up, Bitches: It’s Lysistrata Time!
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October 2, 2017A Mother’s Curse for Congress After It Let CHIP Funding for Nine Million Children Expire
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May 5, 2017I’m Totally Cool With the Collapse of the Health Care System Because I Have a Jade Egg in My Vagina
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December 4, 2015Official Bylaws of Girl Scouts MC Troop 55, Daughters of Hell Council
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May 13, 2022Ten Possibilities the Applebee’s Waitress Considers Before It Occurs to Her the Women in Booth Fourteen Might Be a Couple with Two Children
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May 18, 2022A Passenger’s One-Star Review of the Trolley Ride from the Trolley Problem
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August 5, 2019God Has Heard Your Thoughts and Prayers and He Thinks They Are Fucking Bullshit
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May 13, 2022A Modest Proposal for Solving the Baby Formula Shortage
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May 27, 2022On the Eighth Day, God Was Asked to Come Back to the Office Because Red Flags Were Raised with Certain Elements of His Work
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May 27, 2022Starcourt Mall is Closing
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May 26, 2022Yes, You Caught Me. I’m Trans Because It’s the Trendy New Thing to Legislate Against
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May 26, 2022We Would Love to Consider You For This Job We Have Already Filled